We are separated into three categories in believing who we are as people. The first self is the person we show the world. The second is the person we only reveal to our closest family and friends. Last but not least, we will be the person we hide away from and do not show anyone in the world. They say that the third version, the person we hideaway, is the most accurate form of ourselves. My question is that if this person is the most authentic version of herself, why do we hide them away? That is what I am going to be talking about today. I will break down the three versions people have within them and find the person you should present to the world.

The version that we show to the world will be the most superficial version we have within us. This person will look at the premise of what it takes to be a good person and operate under those bounds. Why do you think the Golden Rule is an essential rule that many people know and follow? That rule will create the precedence of how people should act and treat people. If you are unfamiliar with the Golden Rule, it states that you should treat others how you would like to be treated. That is why the version we show the world we would like others to show us too.

If people are under the notion that they have to operate under certain bounds, are we getting an accurate representation of people, or are we told a lie when we see a person in society? I find that we are only given a cover-up. We do not know their problems or life story. We understand if this person has done wrong to us or hasn’t done anything to warrant distrust or hate. They say that you tell the world who you are the moment you speak. Though sometimes we say things not in line with the Golden Rule premise, it can cause some discomfort and/or resentment.

I can tell you that we will not make everyone in the world happy. You will meet people in life who will not like you, and it is not your fault. Whatever their reason is of no concern to you. However, it leads to whether people pretend to be happy just to fit into society or whether they are going through life unhappy and feeling like they can’t get out of that way of being. The problem is that people think that their current circumstance is their future circumstance. If you do not like where you are, you can move; you are not a three.

The self will be the person we show to our family and loved ones. This version will be more open and closer to your true self, but you are still in defense mode. Have you ever heard the saying that the knife wound in the back doesn’t hurt as much as when you turn around and find out who the person who stabbed you was? This is because the people we hold as family, friends, and loved ones can hurt us the most. I am not saying to avoid love and trust because that is not what we want. I am saying that this version of yourself has conditions attached to it.

Those conditions will be that the people you have in your circle must represent a simulation of who you are. That means you will not want to be hanging around gang members if you do not like to be a gang member. You know or have a clue of what you want. This is not always the case when it is time to order food on Friday night for the family, but the idea is that we know the difference between good and evil. We learn what is acceptable and unacceptable at an early age. The problem in this version is that people believe that if we do something for someone, the other person should be as willing to do what we did. This area doesn’t function under the realm of how the Golden Rule does. Some conditions have to be met to give love and share our happiness in this area.

The last version we have within us will be talking about the person we hide from the world. There is a belief that this is our  “truest self,” but the reality is that though this person might be hidden away, it doesn’t mean we want them out for the world to see. I will say that this third self is arguably the essential self because it will determine the outcome of your life. There is a reason why we have many unhappy people in the world. One of the reasons is their mindset. The second reason is that they go against their true self.

The true self within you will be operating under a mishmash of emotions/feelings, beliefs/values. This makeup will inherently become the frame of your character, but it doesn’t mean that it cannot be altered in the future. This person will be an ally in a foe in who you can become in life. What happens with this person is we lock them away and never show them the light of day. We do our best to make its internal voice a whisper and then drown it out with the loudest of the world and life. Many people do a great job at tucking this person away because, in reality, it is our most precise self.

The value of the person within will be worth its weight in gold. If we have a good thing in life, we tend to keep it for ourselves, so we keep it to ourselves. We ensure that the person we lock in us is present in our lives, but they will not search for what they create. That is because of fear and doubt. Those two things will affect your mindset and cause you to be accepted by the world and your loved ones, not necessarily yourself. They say that you can live a whole life asleep, which is why people never wake up to be more than who they are.

The person we are hiding within will be the person who will help us unleash our fullest potential and fulfill our purpose in life. One of the main reasons people are so unhappy in life is that they are going against them. Another factor why people are sick is because when the world is not fair to us, we recite the Golden Rule and complain about how things are not fair in life. That is why people like the idea of communism. It sounds good on paper, but it is terrible for a society of people. People need a challenge, and they need direction, and when we follow someone else besides our true self, then there is a likelihood that we can be led astray and find ourselves in a rat race of unhappiness.

Do you have to ask yourself, do you know this person who is residing within yourself that you are hiding from the world? How can you find it if you do not know about this version of yourself? There is no easy way to find your true self in life. I can say do the things that make you happy, but you might eat cake and drink soda all day long. As you can see, that is not beneficial to long-term happiness. That would be regret in life. The same is true when it comes to substance abuse. They make us happy, but they destroy us in the process. As you can see, happiness is not as easy as saying, “I love you! Here is a check for a million dollars”. We might agree that money will bring us all this happiness, and yes, it is a start, but it is not the end goal.

When we look at life, or if we look at who we are or who we are becoming, we have to figure out what we want as the end goal. This way of thinking will create a roadmap to get to your desired place in life. Though we know happiness is not a destination, it is a journey; we can see that creating this roadmap is the journey we seek. Let’s fast forward and say that you can reach this place in life. That means that you can now go on another journey. You do not go on one trip, and when it is done, you are happy, and there is no more need to be expeditious. It is the process of reaching your potential and then affirming it again.

The person within you has that ambition that will help you get to your goals in life. Though they might come off as bash or harsh by others, it is the determining factor of many successful and happy people in the world. That was that they didn’t choose to ignore that whisper in their mind/hearts. They followed their gut/instincts and made something extraordinary of their life. Though some people reach great success and lose it, we have to see if they can adapt to the times and the environment. In our world, everything is changing as time progress. I noticed that I have a few more grays in my hair than my younger self. That is life for you, things change, and we need to change how we operate when it comes to the person within.

If there is one thing I want you to take away from this reading, you should not hide who you are from the world. You can still be politically correct and be a kind and loving person. However, when you get to your most authentic self, you must be decisive in your actions and mannerisms. You must know what will be allowed and what will not be accepted in your life. Right now, we have a problem with people taking what life gives them and secretly being unhappy. That is not a life you should be living. You should set your expectation and go forth. If anyone crosses the line you set, you must handle your business.

The person within will be your most authentic self in a sense. It will help you reach your fullest potential and pursue your purpose in life. If you have not found that person yet, you might need help getting there. It is OK to get a life coach to help you find this person. Make sure your coach has experience with this. There is no need to have the blind leading the blind. Make sure to find the balance of the world, people, and your true self. If you cannot do that, it will create unhappiness in your life. The balance will be unique to you, so you must find the right mix. When you can figure out the balance you need, you will notice that your progression toward happiness is underway, and you have to make sure you stay on track.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts