Happiness is one of those things that everyone is after. People want to live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life. The thing about happiness is that it will be unique to us. What makes you happy may not make me happy. So what is happiness, and how does one achieve and maintain it? In short, happiness is not any specific thing but rather a habit to be formed in your life. In this week’s blog, I will be going over the habit of happiness and how to implement it in your life.

If you have tried to buy happiness, you will find that what you feel is a fleeting pleasure. Have you ever tried to smile when you were sad? That is the same as trying to buy happiness. You can cover up the bad with the good, but the feeling of sadness will not be swayed with a smile. Yes, it is a start, but it is not the key. So what is the key to happiness? The key is an accumulation of habits that help invoke happiness and positivity consistently.

I tell my clients who seek happiness to tell me about a routine day in their life. What I gain from it is understanding how they set their days, months, and years to be lived. Often, people do not pay attention to the little things and focus on what is front and center in their lives. That focus is usually directed at the unhappiness they have to face. For example, on Sunday, some people will dread going to work on Monday. Then at work, they create energy that reflects their despise of Monday. How many of you are waiting for Friday or payday? Too many people are waiting for tomorrow and forget about today.

That is where the importance of doing what you love helps create a consistent stream of happiness in its own right. If you enjoy going to work every day, then it wouldn’t matter what day it is. You shouldn’t be concerned about Friday or payday because you are already living in abundance. Reaching this state is a mindset, but our habits created it. If you keep doing something you do not enjoy, you will eventually feel unhappy about your situation. If this is the case, why do so many people choose to stay in a place where happiness is fleeting and scarce?

People fail to create a life full of happiness because they do not determine their habits to help them be happy. I tell people often that finding what you love is just as important as finding what you dislike. When you understand those two factors, you can begin to set up habits in your life that will bring about more. Me, I have simplified my daily life into practices that I enjoy. One of my most vigorous habits that helps promote my happiness is working out in the morning. I use this time to get my body right and also my mind in order. Doing this helps me set up my days and identify challenges and moments to look forward to.

Understanding your challenges is one of the major areas you will have to understand to solidify the habit of happiness. Think of a time you had to deal with something challenging or high energy, and you spent some time preparing and mentally fortifying yourself to get through. For most people, Wednesday has become the universal “hump day”. People believe if they can just make it past Wednesday, they will survive the week. For me, every day is the same. This might be because I work every day, but I do not necessarily call it to work. I enjoy what I do, so I call it routine. That is the habit you should start to get into.

The habit of enjoying all the things you do should be a priority right now. Getting to this stage requires a massive amount of discipline and focus. Imagine the janitor mopping the bathrooms of the workplace. That doesn’t sound like fun to me, but if I used that time to practice mindfulness and meditation, things I enjoy don’t feel like work anymore. Implementing practices you enjoy into areas like cleaning, working out, or going to work can help you with feeling happy on a more consistent basis.

Now, there will be things you may not love that will require you to push through. I find that the things people do not enjoy are the things they are not the greatest at. The other factor I noticed that comes into play is time. When time becomes an issue, and you have to choose to do something or delegate it, always choose to delegate. Especially if that something is an area you do not favor or are not skilled in. If you decide to learn and do it yourself, great, but make sure to weigh out how much time you will take to complete the task vs. someone who is more skilled.

Getting into the habit of being happy will require you to understand what happiness feels like. I can name many things that may make you feel happy, content, or satisfied. Does that feeling stay for long? Typically, happiness is short-lived, and it wears off quickly. That is why so many relationships end after a few months. It is because the initial endorphins that flooded your brain have worn off. In a sense, your happiness towards this person has worn off, and the only logical thing to do is separate and find someone new. This is true for other areas besides relationships, and the thing is that this happiness you are feeling is not true happiness.

The habit of being truly happy is being contented with what you have at any given time. Yes, you can appreciate any given time more than another, but the feeling should be total awareness. Simply being able to feel deep sadness and profound joy helps you develop the habits of happiness. How many times have you taken someone or something for granted? For example, if the battery on your car is dead, how are you feeling? Are you upset with the car and want to sell it and replace it with a more reliable one? Do you think back to when the car was working great, and now you are upset it is giving you problems? Or perhaps you see the whole situation and find a solution without changing how you are feeling. Each of these scenarios will provide you with a different way of thinking.

The scenario that helps create the habit of happiness is a scenario when you are flexible. You try to find the solution when faced with a problem. You see the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. Some people call this being optimistic, but I call this the habit of happiness. Simple looking through a lens of positivity, abundance, and solutions will give you the tools needed to get by in your days. No matter what my day looks like, I make sure to view the task with the benefit I gain. For example, I have to go to work to have funds to invest in my business and my future self. This way of thinking can be used in almost every situation. The trick is you must train your brain to focus this way. You must create a routine that promotes habits of happiness & growth instead of a routine of stagnancy and dread.

I understand that reading the blog might not layout an easy process for you to start to form the habit of happiness. With that being said, the steps to implement the habit of happiness are next. First, identify what makes you happy. Step two, make sure your day is filled with things that bring you joy. Step three, challenge yourself and learn to appreciate your challenges (you may not like your challenges at first, but you will come to enjoy them if they bring about growth in your life). Step four, appreciate both the good and bad that come with the day. Step five, do not take time for granted. Step six, understand that you are in charge of how you feel. Finally, step seven should be to find the good in your situation and focus on that.

The habit of happiness is not something you can simply read the steps and implement in your life. This is something that took me the better part of four years to master. My recommendation is to find a coach who can help you down this path. This path does not mean you cannot be angry or upset. It means that you will understand any emotion you are feeling and let it go once it has served its purpose. If you believe you will always be happy if you fill your life with happy habits, you are mistaken. These habits help you live life on a more constant basis. Each day serves as a new day for progress, growth, and good in your life. Simply understanding and knowing your state of “now” can greatly affect your habits and the intervals of happiness you can attain in your life.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven LLC.