The fear of what our minds hold to be true is very powerful. That fear will lead a child to believe that there is a monster under their bed. That fear also has the power to tell an adult that they will never be more than they are right now. Though these fears might seems minuscule in writing, I can assure you it is massive in the believer’s mind. I find that this fear people place in their life is unneeded and does more harm than it does good. We have grown into a society where people are more anxious than ever, and nothing is being done about it. That anxiety will continue to build up until the stimulus is taken out of the equation. In this week’s blog, I want to speak with you more about fear and how to get over the fear of failure(fear factor).

The fear of failure stems from a person’s own belief that something bad/negative is going to happen. As much as I would like to say that this is an easy fix, it is not. To get over the fear of failure, one must be willing to understand the truth about what is inside. The first truth is that the human mind is naturally negative. That means when you are faced with a situation/problem, the mind is more inclined to focus on what can go wrong instead of what can go right. Even though this is the human brain’s natural tendency, the mind can be rewired.

After the mind goes toward the negative side of thinking, it should be immediately interrupted with another contradicting thought. Instead of worrying about, “What if I fail?” change that thinking into, “What will it look like when I succeed?”. That small change in your thinking can be used right after a negative thought/feeling to shift it to be more beneficial for you. You want your thoughts to be able to serve you in your life. That is why it is so important to have control over your mind. I understand we all have fears, doubts, and a lack of confidence in many areas of our life. However, those should not be the deciding factor in what comes next in your life. When you fall, what do you do? Just like a newborn willing to fall over countless times before they can finally walk, they learn to be resilient. To that child, failure is not an option.

Similar to the drive of a child who learns how to walk, we must learn to be OK with falling over. What comes after we learn how to walk is to learn how to run. What stops many adults is that when they are running and trip up, they become afraid of making the same mistakes and place the fear of failure in their minds. They told their mind how much that pain sucked and that it should not be felt again. This causes people to avoid their fear because their brain is trying to keep them safe.

We were born with only two fears at birth. Those fears were of loud noises and of falling. That means that the fear of failing in life is one we put there. Since we put that fear there, we can get rid of that fear. The first step to do this is to ask yourself a series of questions.

“Where did this fear first come into my life?”

“Who put that fear there?”

“Who kept that fear there?”

“Does this fear serve me?”

When I was young, I remember one of the things that gave me anxiety was coloring books. I was told in school that I had to color inside the lines and that if I didn’t, it would be wrong. I am sure I would have been content coloring on each new page with a new crayon, but a rule of coloring was placed upon me. Though, this rule might be silly to talk about. I wanted to help you realize how silly some of your fears are.

So why are we so quick to excepts the rules and standards given to us by others? Why are we not able to determine our way of life and continue to color the way we want? You wouldn’t tell an abstract artist they are doing it wrong, so why do we teach our youth to fear making mistakes? The only answer I can come up with is that it was how we learned as youths. We carry on with what society has told us is acceptable and what is not. Though coloring in the lines helps with fine motor skills, I was not told that as a kid. Perhaps I wouldn’t understand that as a child, but I think there can be methods for teaching that don’t create anxiety in the learner. Fortunately, I found out how to teach without the use of fear during my teaching years, and ill share that with you today.

One of the reasons I was such an effective teacher was because of my big three. The big three were my expectations, being positive, and leading by example. Still to this day, those three teaching methods I incorporated in my teaching career can still be used in my coaching career. I still hold myself and my clients to the highest expectations. I use positive self-talk, reinforcement, and teaching methods to help teach my content to students and clients. Lastly, I am a firm believer in practicing what you preach, so I hold myself to the same standards I would expect others to have. For example, I would not teach about fitness if I wasn’t in shape. The same is true about my mindset. I would not be able to help people if I did not have my thoughts, feelings, and actions under control and in the direction I needed them directed toward.

The fear of failure is no more than an excuse not to give more than you are giving right now. How do we get over those preset and learned fears that only serve to hold us back in life? The answer is to embrace that fear and override it with success. If you have ever learned how to ride a bike, then you are aware of how many times you have fallen. Once the training wheels were off, you were faced with an obstacle to overcome. You have to be able to ride on two wheels instead of four wheels because big kids don’t use training wheels. The good news is that when we are young, we are more resilient than we are as adults. It is true that as we grow, we are faced with new stresses and fears, but how we get over them doesn’t change much.

The fear of failure can be trumped by repetitive action. Though there may still be a sense of fear when jumping out of a plane, the 100th time is normal. The human brain is structured and has evolved over the years to help protect you. That is why it will put in some fear to help deter you from actions that may cause it harm. I sometimes realize that our brain is working harder than it needs to be. I appreciate that it has mechanisms to keep me safe, but in our current era, there is little to no reason why our fears need to be felt as deeply. In the past, they helped to keep the human species alive, but now, to feel alive, we must be freed from the shackles of all the fears in our life.

The good news is that fear does not have to hold you down any longer. If you know how to meditate, be mindful, or count to three, then there is a way to help you get past any fear. The fears we allow in our life will act as an anchor and keep us grounded. I am not sure about you, but I was not meant to be caged and chained to this earth. The endless sky was meant for me to soar in. That means that any fears that I hold can be replaced with strides of confidence. Fear has little need in our current society. Regardless of what you or the media fear you to believe, it can all be undone. The simplest way to relinquish your fears is to change your mindset. You only have one life, and it was meant to be lived. Do not waste it by limiting yourself.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

CEO of Reven LLC.