One of the significant problems with our minds is that we allow them to be contingent. We give ourselves specific criteria that we cannot be or do something in our life if not met. I hear this most when people talk about their happiness. Contingencies are not limited to happiness alone, but it is the most prevalent in our society today. People will say, “They will be happy when…”,  that type of thinking is doing two things. The first is placing your desires on hold, and the second is subconsciously telling yourself that you cannot be happy until you get that thing you were going after. In this week’s blog, I want to tell you about the contingent mind and what benefits could come into your life if you stop thinking in that manner.

Contingency is defined as a future event or circumstance which is possible but cannot be predicted with certainty. The key takeaways from this definition are that it is possible and cannot be predicted. From this one definition, we have both a positive and negative way of thinking about a contingency. It states that future circumstances are possible, meaning that hope can be attained. The next part is that even though it is possible does not determine it will happen. Though the future will remain uncertain until it has arrived, there is something to be said about placing factors on a future mindset.

When someone puts a contingency in their minds, they are stopping themselves from being in the moment. They are telling themselves, “Until the thing I want comes to me, I cannot be satisfied.” There is a big difference between having goals that will get you to have a better life and ideas that keep you in limbo. Those ideas or desires you set for yourself in the future should have no tie to what you are capable of doing right now. For example, there is no right time to have a child, start a business, finish school, attain wealth,  or be happy. All that should matter is right now. If you cannot see that applying contingencies in your life slows you down, we have to look at your habits.

Allowing contingencies in your life is similar to procrastination. If you find yourself postponing things because you suffer from procrastination, then that has to be addressed on its own. Luckily for you, I have already written a blog to help you get past your procrastination(https://www.revenconcepts.com/blog/2020/3/27/procrastination-from-start-to-finish?rq=procrastinat). Making sure that you remain present in what needs to happen right now can help you to become more mindful of how you are feeling about your future. I see it happen the most because people want all these great things in life, but they are unwilling to work.

Wanting can be just as bad as waiting for things to appear in your life magically. You should not hope and pray for a spouse that will love you, pay all your bills, and make you happy. They do not exist. The only person who can make you happy is yourself. I tell many of the young men/women I coach to look for this in their dating. If your date uses contingencies as to why they do not have or aren’t something right now, then there is a good chance that they aren’t a good fit for you. Though that right now might be momentary, it is not your job to fix the way anyone thinks. If you do so, then that will be of your own volition.

A contingency mindset is the thinking that puts your dreams and ambitions on hold. If you are postponing your plans/actions, then that is halting your progress. For example, think of waiting for the bus/train at the station. Are you getting any closer to your destination while sitting on the bench? The answer is no; however, you took specific action to get the ticket to ensure you progress and reach your destination. What many people do with contingency is wait at that same bus/train station with no ticket and/or no urgent motive for progress. This shows how contingencies place dreams on hold and stop people from maximizing their potential.

If someone continues to live a life where they are waiting for the next moment or the next big thing, they lose the most precious thing life has to offer. That precious commodity is our time. We all have a certain amount of time on this earth, and that time is ticking down. If you waste a day away doing nothing productive and it wasn’t planned, then that is your problem. There is a difference between taking days off and being lazy in your days. A day off should be scheduled. A lazy day happens when you have things on your schedule but refuse to get any of them done. If you do get things done, it is done less than your fullest potential.

Your fullest potential will get you where you want to be in life. Many people struggle with the notion that they have to give 100% every day to be successful. I agree with this, but I think you can take a more scenic route and get to the top of your mountain. I guess what it comes down to is how urgent it is for you to have the life you desire. This is why I make schedules and commitments to myself and my audience to have content out at certain times/intervals. It allows me to remain accountable for what I do each day. You will not see me saying that I will start making more videos when I get more followers. That is backward thinking to attain success.

The same is true when it comes to confidence.  Just the other week, I wrote about how to become more confident in your life. The actions of faith come first, and then the feelings of confidence come next. To have confidence in your life, you have to start the actions that lead to confidence. Postponing and making excuses will get you nowhere fast. It is up to you to determine what you want out of life. The same is true about ridding your mind of contingencies. You should start to take the necessary actions that lead toward the outcome you would like to happen in your life.

To get rid of your contingent thinking, you must be willing to create a schedule/timeline and stay true to it. You have to write all the things you want (It can even be material things). After you have the list of everything you want, then it is time to take the necessary action to achieve them. Again, happiness is dependent on you. If that is the case, you have to begin to do what makes you happy. Though you may have some contradicting actions at first does not mean you are doing them incorrectly. Starting can and should be messy. After time you can refine and make things the way you truly want. It is like cleaning your room. The room has to get messier at first to have an immaculately clean room as the final result.

Just like cleaning your room, there has to be active when going after the things you want. If you want a good life, you have to take the steps that will give you a good life. There will be sacrifices along the way, but the end goal should be exactly where you want to be. I find this to be the most challenging for people and my clients. When people fail to see the end, they will place contingencies in their minds. Setting contingencies on things is the same as relinquishing your freedom of choice. You have the option to go after it right now, and you have the choice to do nothing.

The benefit of going after what you want in life is working towards your desires. So many people want to have a good life with abundance in all they have. They see this dream in their mind that is void of problems, and they want that life right now. I will say that there is no life that is void of problems. Millionaires have issues just like the panhandler on the side of the road. Though many people would rather have millionaire problems does not make their life problem-free. The thing about contingencies is we try to avoid problems when they are applied. If life were that simple, I would share that information with you. The truth is that life is challenging and requires hard work.

The best benefit of ridding yourself of your contingent mind is that you will start to take action toward what you want in life. If you can begin to take action instead of hoping/dreaming of what you want, you will be better mentally and physically. You have to turn your desires into reality and accept that things will not always be the way you like. When things do not go your way, then you have two choices. The first is to find a way, and the second is to give up. I will always recommend the first option over the second. If you give up easily, then it is time to get a coach in your life. Allowing contingencies and a weak mindset to rule your life will give you a shorthand each time.

In conclusion, the contingent mind is a mind that is focused more on hopes, dreams, and desires with no anticipated action being done. To have the things you never had in your life, you have to do the things you never did. For many of you, you have to get off your butt and get to work. It is great to plan and dream for a better life, but action needs to be a part of the process. Getting rid of your contingent mind will always put the ball in your court. You will start to ask yourself what you can do rather than what someone else can do for me. If you can find out what you need to do to get the life you want, there should be nothing that impedes your progress.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

CEO of Reven LLC.