Regarding societal norms, no area of the world is without them. How people behave in North America differs from that in Europe or Africa. Yes, we are all people, but there is a differences in culture and what is expected. Tolerance is a cultural ideal rather than a given ideal every person holds. In short, what one group of people accept, others will not as readily. Though we have that difference or divide, looking at how different regions or communities operate can help us further understand the mindset.

The concept of mindset and societal norms is that there is a reasonable or accepted norm that people tend to adhere to. For example, here in America, obesity has become normalized, and you can be big and beautiful. Still, if you go overseas, if you are bigger than average, you are overweight or considered fat. There is no shame, just as there is no shame in being skinny in America. It is just one of the societal beliefs that we have fallen into or have accepted.

Though the populous has accepted a norm, it does not mean that norm has to be accepted by you. A great example of this can be weight or body image, but something that is even more trending today is the whole LGBT movement and community. Today in America, 5/10  children are coming out as gay or trans vs. 20 years ago when it was 2/10 children were expressing alternate sexual desire. This change has occurred because society has created a norm for people to be who they think they are.

In places like Africa and even parts of the Middle East, you will not find people openly gay because society is not as welcoming of that behavior. Yes, there will be people there who are a part of the LGBT movement, but the government and most people will be against the movement and even look down on the people as if they are weird or have a mental illness. Though these regions have their belief, it doesn’t change what you believe because you are not in that region. In short, we are a product of our environment, which is why America is seeing a rise in gay and trans people.

Another common trend you will see as a societal norm in most of the Western world is the norm of a traditional vs. modern household. An example of this would be women putting career first and family second or women choosing their masculine nature over their feminine nature. Yet in other regions like the Middle East, the gender norms of men and women are still very much traditional, where the man is the provider and protector, and the woman is the caregiver and family support. Both play crucial roles, and neither should be downplayed, yet some people believe that being a stay-at-home wife is not important in the Western world.

As we can see, times and societal norms have changed. We can agree that certain places are well ahead of trending norms, and others are slower to adjust to the world. However, adjusting to the world’s norm is not necessarily good. For example, today, men have adjusted to being more feminine since women are taking on the role of protectors and providers and not needing men because of the ease of society and laws in place to protect them.

This societal norm though it is a commonplace, will not benefit society. Men being weaker does not strengthen a nation or make women empowered. This conversation is not one of equality but simply looking at history and what society has proven over time. Though this is the case, we throw out logic and reason for fantasy and ideals. This norm has only weakened the mindsets of individuals, so we have to ask ourselves if societal norms can severely impact our future.

For this, we have to go even deeper and begin to look at norms in the community. For example, in the black community, it has become a way of life and culturally accepted to be in gangs, does and sell drugs, and kill one another. As anyone can see, this norm is even less helpful to a community than arguing about sex/gender. Yet, our minds today are attracted to focusing on trivial and meaningless things. Why is society becoming more gullible to focus on irrelevant vs. productivity and efficiency? Think of it as the blonde girl syndrome.

How we can play stereotypes with the color of skin, hair color, gender, and culture have a huge part in societal norms. For example, no child is born racist or discriminatory. They learn that through their experience, parents/teachers, and society. This means that social norms can lead to the standards and behaviors one adapts throughout their life. This understanding can change how one learns and behaves, knowing they’re a product of their environment. Why are these norms important to understand when it pertains to mindset?

Understanding these norms is important because people tend to allow their environment to create circumstances that affect their actions and thought processes. You might have heard someone from the ghetto or poor area speak down about themselves because of their lack of education or the belief that they can get out of that lifestyle. Though nothing is impossible, changing your life circumstance is not the easiest of tasks. However, if we understand where we are, we can figure out where we want to be by knowing where we do not want to be.

Even the opposite spectrum of the wealthy are born into circumstances that could be considered better, like lifestyle. These people born into these families are just as ignorant as those born into poor families. These children see the lifestyle and accept the norm. However, the norm might not be normal to someone else, and you shouldn’t feel any way to create balance or equality.

Though there is no need for equality among societies and cultures, people need to make it a point to make others in the power of privilege aware of their norms, so they can “understand.” This understanding is just an act of pity and victimism for both parties. For example, you might have seen on social media how black people are attacking white people and telling them they are responsible for slavery and the lower quality of life black people have to live in. This is the perfect example of what a victim is—someone who cries and complains because life did not go their way.

Just as they were not born into an ideal life, these white folks were not all born into families who had and promoted slavery. Yet, this is the notion we are told and the reason for the push in critical race theory. This is another norm that will only create a divide and weaken people of all races and cultures because it creates unnecessary compliance between people. Both sides lose in the end. Black people become victims, and white people feel bad.

The result of what most people want is to be happy, though. People aim to be more than they are today, whether that means becoming famous or making a lot of money. That golden on the egg that everyone wants to hatch is just a mindset they cannot attain. Society might normalize rampant mental health issues, but that is a choice. I have found that at least ⅖ of the students in current special education classes do not need to be there. The reason is that they do not have a behavioral or learning issue; they have an issue with what they were told and what they believed.

This is why these children will act out when they have control. They have no structure, and their parents have no guide to discipline these children. I am here to say that there are no broken children, only broken minds. The sad part is that the minds of our children are only becoming more fragile, so they will break easier than most. These societal norms might seem harmless, but they do tremendous amounts of damage to children’s minds. No wonder suicide in children under 13 is on the rise. We have a fix for it, but society will not let the fix take hold.

As you can see, there is much to societal norms, from the poor’s fixed mindsets to the wealthy’s/growth and privileged mindset. Amazingly, your mindset can be reformed regardless of your environment. That means if you are unhappy with a societal norm being placed or pushed, you can adjust that norm, at least in your life. When you learn how to adjust these societal norms to work in your favor, you will see how much your life changes. If you are a parent and you need help making sure your child has the strongest mindset, sign up for coaching today.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts