Life can be busy! It will move so fast that in a blink of an eye, ten years have gone by. We forget those good memories of the past until we have a rough patch in our lives, and we need to remember the good to get through. Facebook does a good job of reminding us of some of those memories several years back. Regardless of how you recollect the past, the time between that date and today was filled with thoughts, feelings, and actions that you were in control of. There is no argument as to why you did/didn’t do something because, at the end of the day, you were in control. Though you may have been young and naive, you will either see growth or decay in the life you have built. In this blog, I want to help you look at your past and remember all that was to make you who you are.

It can be easy to feel underappreciated when someone stops giving you the attention that you once had been given. The example that comes to mind is a young child to their parents. That child cannot get enough of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, etc. They have total unconditional love for the people that are near to them in their life. Well, as a parent, you get used to that until the teen years come around. That child who could not get enough somehow seems to want to be left alone and not want you anywhere near their life. Though they still love you, at the end of the day, it has become a different type of love. The good memories that were shared will always be cherished, but two separate lives are meant to one day be lived independently. This reminds me of a story I read many years ago. I have lost the original story and author, but I will retell it to my best recollection.

~ Initium

There once was a young boy who lived in a poor village. The father worked in the fields and had a meager salary.  The mother found work where ever she could while taking care of her son. They could not afford fancy meals and eloquent clothes. They relied on day-old bread from the baker and vegetables the father brought home after work. The father and mother were both physically and mentally drained at the end of the day, but they had one saving grace in their life, and that was their son. The boy did not know he was poor or without. All he knew was that he had loving parents who would give everything to him to make him happy.

One night, some years later, at the dinner table, the son was talking to his parents about leaving the village to get an education in a city far away. The parents told him that they did not have enough to send him to go to school. The boy was hurt by that statement, but his dream was real. He wanted to go to the city so he could make a good salary and give his parents the money he had made. Well, that remained a dream for many years until the boy could no longer stay in that village. The boy was determined to leave with just the clothes on his back and the few dollars he earned doing some work at the local farm.

The son exclaimed to his parents, “I do not want to stay in this village. You both work all day and have nothing to show for it. We barely have food to eat and live in shambles.” The father said to his son, “I know we have not given you the life that you wanted, but we gave you the best life that we could give.” The boy understood that his parents did all they could, but he was still set on going. He told his parents that he would be leaving first thing in the morning to head to the city to get an education. He told his parents that he would do some odd jobs to pay for school. Upon hearing that, the father went into his room and came back with an envelope with his life savings. He gave the money to his son and said, “It is not much, but it is all that I have.” 

The next morning the son left the village in pursuit of his dream of getting an education and providing for his mother and father. When he arrived in the city, he found work in a factory where he could do some hours at night because he had school during the day. He barely made enough for his expenses each week but made sure to write a letter home to his parents and send along with it a few dollars he saved. This went on for four years until he graduated. He was now able to leave his factory job and work for this big business in town. His salary increased substantially, and he was able to send enough money to his parents so that they didn’t have to work anymore.

This was a blessing for the parents because they were getting older and tired. The mother had fallen ill recently and was bed stricken, so the father was left to take care of his wife. The parents were happy that their son was able to provide for them like he had dreamed of as a child, but the letters had a different message as the years went on. The father would write the son and tell them how much he and his mother missed him and wanted to know the next time he would return to the village. At this point, the son has been promoted to VP of the company because of the amazing work he was doing. The son continued to write letters and send money to his parents.

The most recent letter the son wrote to his parents was, 

“Mom & Dad,

I would love to see you soon, but I have been so busy with work recently. I have been promoted to the VP of my company, and it requires much of my time. My wife is pregnant with my son, and I want to make sure that I can provide my son with a childhood I never had. I will send some extra money to cover mom’s medical bills. Love you both.”

The son remained busy taking care of his company and his new family. He even had to ask his secretary to send letters with the cash to his parents because his schedule was booked. The father had no idea that his son was not writing the letters or that the son was not reading any of the letters he wrote him because if he did, then he would have read the plea for his son to return home soon. His mother was on her deathbed and did not have long to live, the doctor had said. The father had asked his son to come to visit before it was too late. His secretary told him that his mother was not doing well, so the son called the father. To get a grasp on the situation.

The father told the son that his mother was very sick and all she wanted was to see her son. The son replied to the father, saying that he would make some time soon to come and visit the village. The father urged the son to come quickly, to which the son replied that he did not have time but that he would come when he could. Well, some months went by, and the son was still busy with work and busy with his family, but he never made the time to visit his parents. The most recent letter the father sent to his son stated that his mother had passed away. That is all the letter had written in it. The secretary rushed to the son after reading it and told the son the news. The son immediately called the father and asked why he did not call to tell him about this news. The father replied, “I did not want to bother you with your busy schedule.” The son said that he would take a flight out this week to the village.

That week the son made it to the village where he was born. The village looked to be in worst condition than when he left for the big city many years ago. When he reached the home he grew up in, he was greeted by his father. He could see the wrinkles and sunken eyes on his father’s face. The father was old and had a hard time walking. His voice was weak, and he was underweight. The son asked why he was still living in shambles and not eating well. The father told the son that the medical bills for his mother were very expensive and that they were not left with much after paying the doctor. The son tried to reason with the father and asked why didn’t he ask for more money. The father told him in the many letters that the medical bills were expensive and it was tough to get by. Not until now had the son realized that he was not reading any of the letters the father had sent. His secretary did not know to send more money to his family in need. This was the son’s mistake.

The son pleaded with his father to leave the village and live with him, his wife, and his son. The son told the father that his grandson would love to see him. The father replied that he would go to see his grandson. As the father was preparing to leave the village, the son noticed how slow the father was now. He needed a cane to walk and was brittle to the touch. The son had realized that all the years of foregoing seeing his parents would be his same fate if he could not instill this lesson into his own son.

That lesson is that as we grow older, so too do our parents. We cannot forget what they have given us. No amount of money or gifts can ever be enough to pay them for all they have done for us. What they truly want is – us. They want the affection we gave to them as a child. They want to know and feel that they are cared for and loved. They want to be a part of your life more than ever. They just want some of your time. Time to be with you to build more great memories.

~ Fin

This story is a great lesson to help you remember your journey. You start to look at your childhood and the path you took toward adulthood. Now you have your own responsibility and business to take care of. Notice how much time is between your growing days to who you are now. How much effort have you been putting in to reach your goals? Have you forgotten the people along the way? There are many questions to ask yourself to help you realize where you are. You might have risked it all to be in a better place today than you were in the past. So all you have to do is remember those past days to unlock your potential for your future. Just like the son in the story, he was motivated to help his parents. Even though the lesson he learned, in the end, was not that, but rather being there for the people along the journey of life.

Taking a look at your past can help to rekindle that fire inside you. You might have become complacent, lost, tired, etc. None of those can be your reason for not being more today than you were yesterday. I understand that life is tough and that you need a break sometimes, but you can always move one inch/step toward a better future. “How can I make myself better?” should be something you ask yourself each morning. You have everything you need right now to make that a reality. Your excuses cannot shadow the smiles of your loved ones. You are not in this fight alone. You are loved by many. You just have to look at your journey thus far to remember that affection.

In many of the things we do each day, there is some purpose associated with it. Perhaps it can be to develop skills for the future or some quality R&R to set you up for your next push in life. Whatever you need to do, make sure you have not only what is good for you in mind but what good it will have on others. Just like in the story, the parents gave everything to their child, who in return gave even more in return. He did not give them what they wanted, which was time, but he gave to them as they gave to him. Good memories like that can be great fuel and motivation for your future days. I know I use this type of motivation frequently. I look back at how I grew up and who raised me, and that has made me strive to be better each day. I want to create a life that is not only for me but also for the people who I hold dear. Be sure to remain cognizant that you don’t spend your whole life working on yourself instead of the relationships that you have the ability to cultivate.

Remaining focused and remembering your life journey can be a joint effort toward your dreams. What made you, who you have become, and who you will be should be all the motivation you need to be successful in life. Reaching your dreams can seem like an endless race, so make sure that you have good company along the way. Create memories that you wish never to forget and allow them to manifest into something even greater. Be the creator of something great in your life, but always remember the road you took to reach your destination. Remember the hands that lifted you when you have fallen or given up. Pay it forward and pay it back, and allow yourself to remember the making of you.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts