As we approach this weekend full of first dates, kisses, and memories reminisced, I want to speak on love. I want to share with you the areas of love that can last more than this weekend and each day after. Valentine’s day is just a couple of days away. People are running out to get their partner chocolates and flowers for the special day. What you will also see this weekend are posts from people saying how love should not be just once a year. That same treatment of giving/sending gifts should be a constant in your relationships. When I talk about relationships, I am not talking only about romantic ones. I am also talking about the relationships we keep at work and the relationships we have with strangers we meet out in public. Love is meant for everyone, and it is up to us to incorporate that into our daily activities. In this blog, I want to share with you how love is more than a word shared with a loved one.
Love is a word that can be shared with the world. Each day when you awake with good intentions, it creates a ripple effect that spreads throughout the world. One act of kindness can be enough to change a person’s life forever. I remember a story of a man who was just fired from his job. He was depressed and was leaving his workplace for the last time. He had his box of belongings as he was about to walk through the front door. He felt that his life was over and was going to commit suicide when he reached home. However, as he was leaving, a stranger saw that he was carrying a box in his hands. That stranger held the door open, so he did not have to struggle to open it. The man said thank you, and the stranger replied with a smile.
That smile was enough to save that man’s life that day. When the man reached home that night, he did not take his life, nor had he any future intentions of ever thinking of taking his life again. He later went on to start his own successful company, and he accredits his success and life to that stranger and that one smile he gave him that day. The man found a reason to live and strive for a better life because of one smile. How much did that smile cost the stranger? I am sure it is cheaper than a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. We do not have to go out and spend money to show someone they are appreciated. Just sharing a smile or giving a helping hand can be enough to show someone how much they are loved.
They say that the ones who are hardest to love need it the most, and I believe that to be true. Oftentimes we can be most critical of ourselves, let alone our relationships kept. We constantly put ourselves down by saying we are not good enough, no one will love us, and that we will never be happy/successful. The truth is you can have anything you set your mind to. Good intentions will help you achieve what you desire in life. Once you fill your cup and allow it to overflow with goodness, then you will have an abundance of love to give. Remember, a smile can be enough to change the world.
I have noticed that love is not frequent enough in our society. We are living in a divided world where race and religion are factors in how one treats another. This may be done subconsciously; nonetheless, it is a factor in our society today. If we see someone who looks dirty, we may distance ourselves from them like they have the plague. If someone has a different religion or skin color, it has the power to cause separation between us. We are at the point where many people cannot be cordial with one another because of our differences. There is a false creation of hate between the two due to an opposing factor. What would happen if we replaced all that hate with love? If we see a person for their capacity for love/care instead of seeing them for what they look like or believe in? I believe we can bridge those gaps of separation by applying human kindness. We all can love and care, and it is up to us to take the lead into a better world and future for all. Love is always an option when it comes to your everyday life. You might meet people who have different values, but there can be a common ground between every person. The biggest common ground I can think of is that we are all human. We all have needs, wants, and a desire to be loved. Science has proven that we need love to live!
There was an old study done on children in an orphanage. They had two groups of babies that would be taken care of. The first group of babies was fed/changed and had all their basic needs met. The second group had the same necessities as the first group, but this group also had their caretakers play with them, smile at them, and make them smile. Well, the first group of babies who did not have the same type of emotional development died due to the lack of love. That study alone was enough to show that babies needed love to live. Do you think that the need for love is something a baby needs and not an adult’s?
Love is something we all need as human beings. That is why it is important not to lump love into a few days a year. It is important to transform love into a lifestyle we can all live and share. The title of this blog is to help remind you that love is not for a weekend or a single day. It must be a constant that we share and give every day. Now, if you can be positive more than you are negative and love more than you hate, then society will transform for the better. I used to struggle to love openly, and I still have to remind myself some days that it is ok to love. Perhaps the way I grew up and my environment made me cold, but I learned to love better over the years.
I have learned how to love more quickly because life is fleeting, and I will not wait for anyone. I have learned to help others in need and share hope with them when they feel as if all has been lost. If you are alive right now, then there is still hope for you. There is an opportunity for you to accomplish great things in your life! Knowing that love is always an option helps me to focus on the bigger picture. I could care less what your religion is, skin color, or political background is. When I see a person, I see a human just like me. I do not see their image or personal beliefs as a determining factor in our relationship. I judge a person by their character, and that is something that cannot be faked. You can put on a facade for a short while, but your true self will come out. Over the years, I have learned how to find a person’s true self quickly. At that point, I will either allow them to join me on my journey or give them my farewells.
I am the determining factor for all I allow in my life. I do not allow people to walk in my life with their dirty shoes and foul mouths. I am a firm believer in the power of positivity. If a person chooses to be negative and tries to drag me down, I will let them go so they can fall alone. My job as a life coach is to help people get out of negative and bad habits. I cannot help someone if they do not want my help. If you ask me to help you change, then no amount of negativity you have will ever let me let you go. That is because I know you want to help yourself change and transform into someone better. You want to be able to love your life/self again. You want to work on and create meaningful relationships. That love for self and change can be attained through the work of positivity.
Looking at the relationships, we keep, “love” should not be used loosely. If you tell a person you love them, then you should mean it, whether that love is romantic or merely friendship based. Men show love differently than women, and it is up to both sexes to find out how the other shows love. It can be a smile, a pat on the back, a hug/kiss, actions, or encouraging words. Whatever their love language is, you should be aware of it. Romantic relationships have become so easy to start through social media and online dating that people have forgotten their importance of them. A romantic relationship is not a momentary thing you do. You should try to fix a relationship before you toss it out. Nowadays, relationships end quicker than they started, and both sides have no remorse for their actions.
The same is true for non-romantic relationships. People are so quick to throw someone under the bus for their benefit. Whether it be a promotion or simply a win, being competitive can be a valuable trait when pushing past your limits. I believe it can be done with love instead of malice. I am not out to hurt anyone for the sake of victory. If I attain a victory, then it is due to my effort and hard work. If I did not win, then that means I have more room to grow. Do not let failure be the reason why you do not love. Let failure be the teacher that pushes you to be better than you are right now. Trust in the process, and do not allow the outcome to taint your thinking.
To love consistently, we must be able to separate our emotions from the primary purpose. The primary purpose of love is to treat all as equals and the same as we would want to be treated. Think about if someone you loved told you that they would not love you this week. However, if you are lucky, they will start to love you again next week. The first thought that would come into my head is that love doesn’t take a break. The second would be that if they can give up on loving me so abruptly, then is the love they have for me genuine and real? No one wants to be in a relationship where they do not feel loved and appreciated. That goes for both personal and romantic. You will not continue working at a company where your worth is not acknowledged. People want to be wanted and desired, and it is up to us to make sure that we can love and be loved freely.
Our emotions oftentimes get in the way of living a life full of love. We feel that if someone has opposing values, then they cannot be trusted or called a friend. Well, regardless if you want them in your life or not is your choice. What you cannot allow in your life is hate for another human being. That hate will not serve you any justice. That hate will blind you and lead you down a road of your own self-righteousness. It will turn you negative towards people you have never met before and limit your relationships with new people. You can’t go through life judging a person by their beliefs alone. We are all different on this earth, but we all have a common goal and need in life. We all have the goal of living a fulfilling life and a need for love. Let this year be the one you choose “love” to reign supreme over your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Until then,
Michael Rearden
CEO of Reven LLC.