We are conditioned to take more than we give at an early age. Eventually, we learn to share, and from that comes the foundations of what we give to the world. We might bring joy or give a person joy with our being, but it is not the same as this blog’s Give and Take mentality. Each day, we choose to give everything we have or take everything presented (or not shown) to us.

What does Give and Take mean in this context? Each day, the Give and Take mentality is one that many people are unaware of. It is something that happens passively throughout the day. However, the ones you might be most familiar with are the acts you do regularly. These include giving or taking from someone, asking too much of others when you offer nothing in return, and lastly, taking more than you need, whether it’s money or food. Let us now explore and talk about the Give and Take mentality.

When waking up in the morning, one of the first things we do, besides cursing the day, hitting the snooze button, or eating breakfast, is that we have some form of gratitude. Regardless of your morning routine, your first opportunity to give comes into play. When we wake up, we can give thanks to whomever we want or even just for a good night’s rest. If you are religious, you might pray and thank your deity. Regardless of what you give in the morning, you start with a positive step toward the day. I say positive because the act of giving will inherently make you feel better. Whether you serve or aid someone in any way, it will put you in the giving mindset.

Buddhist meditation and some yoga practices have a thing called mindful breath. Are you being mindful of what you take in? With each inhale you take, you take something from the earth (oxygen), but you’re also giving something (carbon dioxide). I will not make this a science blog, but in simple terms, we get our oxygen from the plants and the trees, and we help them out by providing some carbon dioxide to complete the photosynthesis process.

Again, I’m not here to talk to you about how plants create oxygen for us, but instead, I’m here to discuss what we give and take in our day-to-day lives and how it comes back to us for our betterment.

The Give and Take mentality takes effect as easily as inhaling or exhaling. What if I told you that you could give so much more and still be in a great place? How can that affect our lives if we talk about giving or donating money? You might hear when a wealthy person makes a large donation to a cause they believe in or gives back to their community. Yes, there is some benefit for them, but many who do donate tell us that the act of giving is more rewarding than anything else they can do. They understand that sharing and providing service to others is why we are here together. These people have reached a point where they do not need to take and can now give freely. Let us figure out how to get to that point by looking at what we take.

The typical worker will work their regular job to create an income stream. This is money they were given for working. Next, you understand that bills and necessities need to be paid for. This person might even have some fun with their money and purchase things they want or desire. These desires are taken away from you. Now, I’m not saying you cannot have nice things or splurge; it has to be done in moderation. This is the beginning of the discrepancy between the rich and the poor. The rich might buy things they desire, but they have the cash to make that purchase. A poor person would be more inclined to swipe their credit card or get a loan to get what they desire. I highly recommend a book for any age called Rich Dad Poor Dad by Richard Kiyosaki. The book explains why many people fall into the rat race trap. I think this book will provide you with knowledge and tools to change your mindset from rich to poor and from taking to giving.

If you look at other aspects, like our family and social life, we can figure out where the Give and Take mentality occurs. I’m not here to tell you exactly where you should give and take. My priorities might differ from yours, so this blog is something for you to ponder. You can either incorporate this into your life choices or make yourself aware if you are taking away or giving back. In the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, he talks about an emotional bank account. The concept of the emotional bank account has the Give and Take mentality written all over it.

The emotional bank account section in his book resonated with me because it helped me realize my past mistakes in relationships with friends and family. In my life and my relationships, I sometimes would get into taking and not giving. For example, I would come home and ask why the dishes might not be done and, in the same breath, ask what’s for dinner. What did I give in that situation? The answer is nothing. The only thing I did was take, and I would feel good when it was all done and I got what I wanted, but that is not how a relationship should work. Instead, I should have asked if they needed help with the dishes or starting dinner. Doing it this way now, I do not take away from the relationship and instead give in and make emotional deposits to the account. The service we enjoy providing to others closely aligns with our purpose and gift, which we spoke about in a previous blog.

Each interaction you have with others grants you the option to make a withdrawal or put in a deposit. Once I realized that I was taking more withdrawals than putting in deposits, I could fix one of the most significant issues in all of my relationships. I learned that giving lets others know how much I appreciate them. I also noticed why some friendships and relationships did not last. There were times when I was the culprit for taking too much, and then there were times when others would take until there was no more. So I will ask you again, are you taking more than you give? How can you give more than you take to create balance and harmony in your life? Once you begin your days with positivity and delight in multiple areas of your life, you will notice a change in yourself. You will start to feel fulfilled and driven to complete your goals. So if you’re taking too much, stop talking, and if you’re giving from a place of abundance, then keep on giving.

You might get in situations where people think that you owe them or that if you don’t do something for them, they will be upset with you. Remember, you don’t have to please anyone. Your happiness is up to you, and it belongs to you. Sadly, the people we hold closest can hurt us the most. With that said, why would you put someone in your life who would intentionally hurt you? That intention should not exist in a healthy relationship. Sometimes, you’re going to get into a situation where you might have a disagreement or an argument, and that is a withdrawal from both emotional bank accounts, but it can be fixed. You’re taking away from the relationship when arguments cannot be resolved, so be sure each of you makes an effort to remedy the situation. I know some couples who would have an argument and not talk to each other for hours, and then one would ask if the other is hungry, and then it seems to be water under the bridge again. That small act of asking if they were hungry and wanted food showed the other person that they cared, and now, giving can take place again.

In closing, I hope you go throughout your day with the Give and Take mentality in your mind. You are so many beautiful things in this life, and being greedy and selfish does not need to be one of them. It is essential to understand these life lessons so you can appreciate them. Our day-to-day lives and the hustle and bustle can distract us from all the good things happening. Whether work, family, life, money, finances, or relationships, you can always give love. Keep the people and situations out of your life that will take from you constantly. Also, remember to give more than you take and be aware of when others are taking from you. In turn, do not be the person who constantly takes from another. Treat each person as you would someone you love closely. If practiced well, hopefully, you will understand all the good you give into others’ lives, and what you give today will one day pay dividends back to you.

Until then, Friends.

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts