In order to reach your fullest potential, you must be able to find/determine your mindset. Finding your mindset is very similar to my first Tune-Up Series (T-U-S) on self-coaching. Finding your mindset is a bit more involved. There are nine steps to really dive into your mind. Knowing your current mindset will not only allow you to excel but also understand any problems that might be in front of you, such as identifying emotional triggers that could be holding you back. In this T-U-S, I will share with you how I determine my mindset and how I change it if it doesn’t serve me. The following steps work for me after many years of trial and failure. My goal here is to take out the guessing work for your life so that you can achieve your most desired life more quickly than if left to your own devices.

The first step to finding your mindset is understanding that you are your own worst enemy. “The biggest wall you will ever climb in your life is in your mind, and you put it there.” Unknown. I heard this quote for the first time from my Bikram yoga teacher. If you have ever practiced Bikram, it is more than just yoga. It is a battle of the mind. (Bikram yoga is hot yoga – 105 degrees, and about 40-50% humidity). When you go in the room, your human instinct is to get the F out of there. That is our primitive brain at work.

Our brain wants to have an easy life. The brain subconsciously wants to expend the least amount of energy and effort for a given task. This, again, is our primitive brain. We are wired for survival, but we no longer have the need for that wiring. There is nothing trying to kill us on a day-to-day basis, and we know, for the most part, where our next meal will be coming from. Our basic needs are food, water, and shelter (Clothing optional). Now that we know the basics of what our brain looks for, how can we overcome the obstacle it places in our life? Overcoming mental barriers is crucial here, as it enables us to challenge those limiting instincts and move forward with purpose.

That leads us to step two, being the solution. Just like we are the problem in our life, we are also the solution. From all the negative thoughts to the bad habits we created for ourselves, we can turn that around into positive and beneficial things for our life. Being the solution is as easy as understanding that you have the power to change. Change is not for anyone but for you, yourself,  to decide. When you are ready – you will change. That change should come about because you have decided to take control of your life and what happens to you.

Step three is to identify how you are feeling. Similar to self-coaching, understanding how you feel helps determine the path you must take. If you are unhappy with a job, a person, or how you look, then you can decide to have that in or out of your life. Those true feelings are a great motivator to get you moving. Those feelings are not a New Years’ resolution or a promise you made yourself. This is the true you. The you that might have been hidden away, and now, it no longer wants to be hidden.

Step four is to ask yourself, “Do you want to feel this way?”. Asking yourself that question will solidify your resolve to accomplish your next tasks. Your journey can begin when you decide to reach your destination. Your journey does not begin when you are ready. When are we really ready? You take the first steps to reach your goal way before you step foot on the path to glory. The first steps are what comes before the journey. This is the foundation and setup for your success. Though this step might be rougher than the journey, it will prepare you for what lies ahead.

Step five is to determine if the feelings you have serve you for the better. Whether it be love/hate, sadness/happiness, or anger/peace, you must have that feeling serve you. You cannot let anger into your life if it doesn’t serve you. Hatred/peace, just like happiness/sadness, cannot occupy the same space. Which of the feelings serve you most? Which of those feelings will help you get to your most desired life more quickly? The feelings you let reside and grow inside yourself should also nurture your dreams and ambitions. Reflecting on personal growth reflection is an essential part of this step to ensure you’re on the right path.

Step six is to understand if you want to feel that way. This step seems redundant at first, but it has helped many of my clients pinpoint their true feelings and desires. Especially parents, I find they want to do what is best for their children or family than what is good for them. By no means is taking care of yourself and making sure your cup is full first considered selfish. Just think of the example of when you are flying. They say to make sure that you place your oxygen mask on first and then place it on children or anyone else who might be struggling. That oxygen in your life is what you need to become the most useful version of yourself.

Step seven is understanding if you know how to feel that way. Love for me – was one of those things that I knew how to feel, but not deeply. In the past, I loved things like “a new toy.” Eventually, the shine wore off, and it was just another thing in my life. The love that I did not know how to feel was the unconditional type. I felt it when others showed it to me, but I was unable to show it. It took many years in order to love unconditionally. It is something I work on consistently because I know I can go deeper into the love I seek. This goes for any feeling. If you do not know how to feel a certain way, then this is the step to learn. You do not have to reinvent the wheel here. This is where you should seek coaches, mentors, and teachers that know how to get you where you want to be.

Step eight is to do the things that make you feel good. I am not talking about temporary pleasures like sweets, drugs, or alcohol. I am talking about things that will last all day. The amazing feeling of giving, for example, doesn’t stop when you have given. That feeling moves on into an endless ripple in the universe. You feel that ripple endlessly. This can also be your lifestyle. This can be – being in shape so that when you have to climb a flight of stairs or play tag with the kids, you can do so wholesomely. You won’t have that voice in the back of your head (your brain) saying, what the heck are you doing? You should just take it easy.” That easy is not what the kids need. They are growing and learning and they do that with motion. Being able to replicate that motion to help their emotions in a way that sets them up for a higher potential than if they didn’t have that experience with you. (Next week’s blog)

The last step(Step nine) is to have the results you wanted all along in your life. This is the fruit you bare from all the hard work you have put in. The mindset of working on your own garden/orchard so that one day you can enjoy the fruits of your labor. There are many animals/bugs that want to destroy your garden, and there is rain that might not want to soften your soil. However, that is not a job for anyone else. That is the job you must do! You must have the mindset that this life is your story, your garden, your masterpiece. What do you want to show the world? What do you want your legacy to be?

In conclusion, your mindset is something that you attain through a conscious or unconscious effort. The mindset you develop can be either strong or weak, but that is yours to decide. Not everyone in this world wants to be great or amazing. That is for the chosen few who are not going to settle for less. A mindset of a winner is one that does not become complacent about the life they have been given. They make sure that they go out and get the life that they want. Finding a strong and healthy mindset will help you achieve your most desired life. Luck may be on your side, but having a determined mindset is a sure way to reach your fullest potential and give you all the results you seek out of life.

Finding your Mindset Steps:

Step 1. You are the problem

Step 2. You are the solution

Step 3. Identify how you are feeling

Step 4. Do you want to feel this way?

Step 5. Whether yes or no, does this serve you?

Step 6. How do you want to feel?

Step 7. Do you know how to feel that way?

Step 8. Do the things that make you feel the way you want

Step 9. Results

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts