“How do you find your purpose or gift in life?” That is the most asked question I have received since the series, Coaching in Session. I do have many blogs about this, but it is time that I create a step-by-step guide to help people who are curious about this in their life. Though this will be different from the method I use when I coach people, it will be as effective when determining what you were meant to do with your life. The Three Questions I want you to repeat after each section:

The Three Questions

• What do I want to be?

• What do I want to do?

• What do I want to have?

The Guide on How to Find your Gift, Purpose, and Passion

1. Find out what you Like & Do Not Like

2. Determine your Life’s Outcome

3. Develop a Destination Plan

1. Like Vs. Dislike

“When you find your passion, you find your purpose.”

Understanding what you like and do not like is the first step in finding your passion. Let’s say, for example, you hate how the violin sounds. If that is the case, why would you try to learn how to play it? Perhaps it is to discover an appreciation for the instrument or because you were forced. No matter the reason, you know that you do not like/favor the violin. There is nothing wrong with saying you do not like something. People think that if they limit their life, they are setting themselves up to be inefficient in some areas. Though the example of the violin cannot represent this claim well, we will go into a model that will.

If you are in a line of work, what type of training did you receive? Let’s say you are in a sales position. You may or may not have gone to school for business or sales training, but you did receive some form of training or guidance before you started your work. After your initial training, do you believe that training was sufficient for the rest of your life? The most common-sense answer is no, and you are correct. As time goes on, people and processes change, which will cause a gap in your knowledge. That is why there are workshops, seminars, and classes for you to stay up to date. In your new training, you may receive a certification that will show that you have completed the course and are now proficient and better qualified. However, you have this nagging feeling that you do not like your job.

Since you have this feeling, you decide to get some new certification in a different area. Now you are seeking a promotion and a method to get out of your current situation. Where did this idea that you need this certification/training to help further your career come from? What typically goes on in mind is that the person is looking for a way out of their current job because they do not like it or want change. People often fall into a position due to necessity rather than choice. They fall into a career they might not have known about fully before they committed and got the training. Now there is a sense of. I’m already this deep; keep going. You decided to keep going rather than stop and pay attention to how you felt about it will cause you to continue to dislike your work.

The truth is that the majority of people are not happy with where they are in life. They get over their unhappiness by not thinking about it, accepting their life, and falling into a complacent mindset that numbs ambition and deters them from reaching their fullest potential. They fell into the mistake of going with the first choice available or what they thought was the right choice, but many people stumble here and never get back up. That is why it is crucial to find the things you like and dislike. When you know the difference between the two, you can start to make better choices for your future.

What we do as people is we tend to like what we are good at. When I was young, I loved math but hated English and writing. At that point in life, I did not understand various writing styles’ grammar rules, and formats. I could excuse that my brain was not structured that way, but it would be a lie because now I love writing and reading. I needed a good teacher who could see the areas where I needed help to help turn my weakness into strengths. The teacher that changed the way I felt about my weak spot was my first college English professor. Though I was a decent writer already, she helped bring out the best in my abilities. For the first time in my life, I started to like English, reading, and writing.

I could have stayed with the same mindset in elementary school that I am good at math and I should only focus on that. Which I did because my first major was finance and accounting. It was the job perfect for a math wiz like myself, but I realized two years in that though I liked math and I was highly proficient in it, it was not my purpose in life. Many people get to the point where I am and find out their path is not correct. So what to do if you are on that path? It is never too late to turn around or try again. I am well aware of the time constraints and monetary commitment that may be needed to invoke a career change, but looking at what whole picture long term, it will be one of the best decisions you will have made in life.

So the rule of thumb in this step is to create a list of likes and dislikes & to find a teacher/coach/mentor who can help you with areas you are weak in. When you have abundant strength, you can honestly start to identify what you would instead do. When you get to that point, you should like what you are doing, regardless of getting paid for it. If you have a bad day, your brain should be primed to make the next day better, not run away. If you run away from every problem and challenge, then you will never find your purpose.

Recite The Three Questions

2. Lifes Outcome

“If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?”

Your Lifes outcome will be the accumulation of what your life was made out of. For example, if I say names like Mother Theresa or Gandhi, you know that these people did something extraordinary to become household names. If you are unfamiliar with precisely what they did in their life is of no concern. The point is that you know these names and understand that they were good people. Now, let’s take the shoe off and put it on the other foot. These two individuals I used as an example have passed away, but their name lives on. What would you like your name to represent when you pass away?

Stephen Covey was an American author and educator who came up with one of the best ideas for legacy/success. In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he wrote that you should begin with the end in mind. He says in simple terms to take a look at the endpoint and make your way back from there. Knowing where you want to end up is essential for growth. I find that many people will go through life without a plan and wonder where their life went at the end of it. Well, Mr. Covey came up with the best solution to that problem, and that was to look at the end of your life.

When you are looking at the end of your life, you should have a good notion of what you would like to have accomplished. Perhaps you are not a natural dreamer, and you have the same life now that you had 20 years ago. Understanding where you want to be will help you create a road map to the destination you seek. Imagine if you are trying to reach the top of the hill. However, you are only staying level with your current elevation. Would you be able to reach the top of the hill? No, that is why you have to elevate and rise toward your goals. Moving around the hill will not get you to the top unless your elevation increases. If you have a dream to work towards, then the next step is to plan.

Recite The Three Questions

3. Plan

“What would you be doing if you were 100% confident in yourself?”

To elevate yourself, you need to have a destination plan. This destination plan should result from whatever work you are putting toward your desired outcome in life. If you want to be rich and famous, you have to figure out what avenue you would like to get there. Anyone in the world can be rich and famous. However, if you do not want that for yourself, why would you put in the effort to have that lifestyle? This is where people need a Life Coach to come in and give them some guidance. When working with new clients, I find many have zero direction, so they fail to start. Simply not knowing where to begin creates a level of procrastination that they fall victim to for years until they are forced to change.

Forced change can happen for many reasons, but one of the main reasons people change is due to some sort of trauma. I avoid the trauma experience and apply focused/achievable work to get them to their goals. Most of the time, people come to work with me because they already went through their trauma experience, but I help them learn not to let trauma be the only reason they should seek change. Once that is complete, then we can get to work on our destination plan. We need to create a simple and easy process to ensure success in the achievement of your goals.

The steps will be different from person to person, but the trend is to find out what you want and then develop a plan to go after it. Going after it can be a blueprint followed by someone else’s progress or learning from someone successful in the area you seek success. It is important not to think you need to reinvent the wheel each time you want to do something new. The reason for this is that you do not want to waste time doing what was already done. If you decide to go a particular route, make sure to research and find experts in the area you seek growth and pick up where they left off.

There is nothing wrong with doing something different, but it will require more groundwork and trial and error. So if you are a person who is afraid to fail or if failure makes you quit, then you would be better off following a blueprint and building according to your likes and dislikes. Be sure to pay attention to what you want the finished product to look like rather than the steps needed to get there. Knowing what you want the result to be will be the best indicator of what you want for your life and that you will do the work needed to attain it.

Recite The Three Questions

Close

What you want “to be, do, and have” will be answered at the end of the process. Once you are here, you are now on the journey of living life, and you might come to realize that what you wanted to do doesn’t light you up as you thought. If that is the case, you only have to pivot or go through the process again. If you have gone through the process several times and keep coming up short, then it is time to get serious and invest in a Life Coach to help you work through this process. We often take jobs due to necessity. However, if you choose your career and are unhappy with it, you will have to look at different areas in your field. Only after that should you start looking at other areas of opportunity that will require more schooling/training/certification.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts