Does your depression and anxiety serve you? Does your anxiety push you to your best self? Do you let your fears define who you are and what you are capable of? The answer you give to each of the following questions can vary depending on where your mindset is today. I can tell you that you should be in a place where you feel positive and good about what is going on in your life.  You are a warrior regardless of what is going on in your world.

When you hear other people say to be or find the ray of hope in your life all you have to do is look in the mirror. Through all this darkness resides a light, which is you. How can we push through this darkness of depression and anxiety? In this week’s blog, I will go over five steps to win against your anxiety, depression, and despair. You might be in a place where nothing is helping you to feel better and become more optimistic. What I can tell you is that time will be a great ally on the road to recovery and finding the joy and peace you seek.

The Five Steps

1. Routine/Habits

2. Journaling

3. Hope/Belief

4. Ask for help/Support

5. Meditation

The first step to combating your Anxiety and depression is being in charge of your daily routine and habits. The reason for this is that you are in charge of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. These are the beginning and ending factors of how you will be on a given day. A structured life actually helps the brain be more focused and primed for the day. There is no if and or but because there is only what needs to be done. Your schedule, routine, and habits play a strong role in how your mind develops and whether you will have a strong positive mindset or a mindset filled with self-doubt and loathing.

When you are creating your schedule you want to make sure that it is something that you can follow. We are at the point now in the year where many people are feeling a great sense of hopelessness. This is due to putting all your hope in a dream with no action, commitment, and having a solid plan to follow. All the new year’s resolutions that were made just last month are being forgotten or thrown out. This is due to a lack of planning. Though the person really wants this thing in their life, despair and anxiety can set in quickly if you walk around without a plan for too long. However, not all plans work out as we see them, so we have to make appropriate modifications to keep us moving toward our best selves. The self we want to be.

When your day is planned out and you develop a routine for your days then life begins to get out of your way. You might go to the gym, spend time with family, go to work, etc. The routine you create is personal to you, but it is something that makes you feel good when you do it and off when you don’t. For me. My routine is simple. I wake up, go to the gym, work, eat, work, prepare for the next day, read, shower, and sleep. This is how many of my days are structured. I might have to change the order of my schedule some days, but that is what I call pivoting.

Pivoting is the act of moving your body(mind) in a different direction. Pivoting in this sense does not mean changing your mind, but rather finding a new way to get something done. Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” I know I have done some insane things in my life until I figured out the habits that needed to change. For example, in the past, I would study sparingly and would get poor marks. It took me time to realize that the methods of studying I was implementing did not suit me. I had to pivot the way I approached studying in order to achieve. I had to pivot my beliefs that I would get by minimal studying and put in the hours I needed to get high marks on my tests.

Just like how I had to pivot the way I was studying, many people need to pivot in certain areas of their life. This may include waking up feeling hopeless and alone and doing the same thing they did yesterday and the day before. You have to stir the pot if you want to get something cooking. You have to pivot out of your old habits and change up your schedule to reinvigorate yourself to want to approach your day with a drive that will help you accomplish your goals.

Step two is journaling/writing down your day or how you are feeling. In step one, you should focus on making sure you have a routine planned out. However, journaling, can also be a great way to help organize your thoughts so that you can make a schedule filled with what “you” need. In other words, journaling helps to refine step one and solidify what should be done. Though you may have a difficult time starting to write and fighting yourself on what to say. The process of journaling begins once you put the pen in your hand. Let the pen run wild and fill the pages of what’s going on with you.

In the first days of journaling, you might not want to write much, but it starts to develop fully over time. Journaling was one of my most helpful tools when getting through college. I didn’t know how stressful school was until I was out of it. While I was in school I had no choice but to produce results. That was my mindset. My father told me at a young age to, “Handle your business”. It is something that has stuck with me to this day. It is my drive and determination to handle my own affairs and not make excuses or leave them for someone else.

When I would write in my journal I wrote with the intention of never reading what I wrote. I did this because I made sure to put all my worries on paper and out of my mind. All those negative thoughts that were up in my mind served me no purpose. The thoughts that said I was not good enough, that I was lost and had no destination, the feelings of loneliness, and the fears of failing were just some of the things I had to go through. I know now more than ever that I was not alone in the darkness. There were many others in the same space as I was. We all had our own story, but we all needed some light to find our way. Journaling was a way for me to turn dip my pen into this black darkness and write in my journal. I would write without thinking, and I would write until I could not think anymore.

Journaling allowed me to rest easy each night and prepare myself for each day. I find that people do have a preference when choosing to write/journal. The majority choose to journal in the morning when their brain is fresh and clear and not troubled by the world and all of what social media has to say. Regardless of when you choose to write what’s on your mind, be sure to have the intention of reaching a positive. Just like you want your bank account to be positive, so should your thoughts, feelings, and actions. With that being said, I do have some rules when I journal.

My first rule when I journal is to write what comes to my mind. No matter how dark or bad it is I need it out of my mind. My second rule is to never reread what I write in my journal. Most of the time I use my journals to escape. Even if I write all good things I allow the feelings of joy to stay with me and leave the words forgotten on a page. My worries, I leave to be forgotten on the pages. My third and last rule is to keep up with my journaling until my mindset is back to where I want it (Positive). This means I will write every day or every hour until I can find my way again. I get lost sometimes, but I have learned how to find myself no matter what darkness or difficulties I face. I do not need to journal every day when my mindset is focused, so it is not a burden on my days if I do not get some writing done.

Step three is to have faith and believe in yourself. This is one of the most important steps because if you do not believe that something will happen then you are right. However, if you take the time to believe that things will be ok/good then that is what will come into your life. This is more than the law of attraction at work. This is setting your mind up to win in its highest form. A bird will try to fly (eventually) even if it has never flown or has seen another bird fly before. We are all like this bird that doesn’t know how to fly. We all have wings that can carry us to great heights. Many people choose to not spread those wings.

In order to reach the places you want in life, you have to believe you can get there. You have to see the top of the mountain before you take the first step and tell yourself that you can climb this mountain or you can fly to the top. Regardless of how you want to approach your determination, it should always be in line with “Yes you can”. You develop this faith and belief by becoming stronger each day. You might currently lack confidence so you need to work on that. You might be fearful, anxious,  or depressed so you have to inject some faith and believe in yourself. You might have a challenging time at first, but start small. If you need a boost then move on to step four.

Step four is to ask for help. This help can be from anyone such as a friend, doctor, coach, mentor, or family member. Regardless of what help you seek you have to make sure that you are in good hands. Not everyone will have the best intentions for you and the last thing you need is a setback when you are feeling vulnerable. Progress towards your goals should be your intention when you are seeking help to rid your life or at least manage your anxiety and depression.

Asking for help does not make you weak. It does not mean you do not have your life under control or that you will always be in this dark place for putting yourself out there. You can be your own worst enemy at times, so be sure to find someone who can be your ally to fight alongside you in this battle. Journeys are so much better with some company, so find someone who will make you see that life is about the journey and be happy to walk with you.

Life has its challenging moments, but also moments filled with joy and wonderful things. Keep the intention of reaching a point where one day you can help someone that is in the same dark place you are. Motivation can come even when you feel like you can’t get up anymore. The human spirit is very strong, but we forget that often. We forget just how amazing we are and the potential we have within us. Find someone who will remind you of all these things if you have forgotten them for yourself.

The fifth and final step is to meditate. This step can actually morph into things that you might not associate with meditation. Many people who think of meditation think about sitting with their eyes closed trying to think of nothing. Though meditation is the act of clearing the mind, you can do meditation while on the go. I use my mornings to meditate. I also go to the gym in the morning. That means I start my meditation from the moment I wake up which is around 6 am. I do not talk at the gym or in the morning unless I need to. I use this time to prepare myself for the day. I make sure my mindset is positive and ambitious before 9 am. At 9 am that is when I let the world come into my life.

This is the time when I would check my messages and see what I missed while I was sleeping. I stay away from news and politics first thing in the morning and try to find things that can inspire me and others. I work in a state of flow, which allows me to see every moment for what it truly is. I have fun saying that everything is “regular”. This allows me to remind myself that there is always something going on. What do your senses bring to you? I am aware of it all in this state of flow.

Meditation is something that requires practice. I remember a time when I asked a girl to meditate with me in college. It was my beginning stages of enlightenment and I felt to share it with as many people as I could. After our brief 5 minutes of mediating she spouted out how horrible she did. I told her not to think that it was horrible but rather a river flowing with many leaves. Eventually, the water will be free from those leaves (your needless thoughts). Meditation has become a great tool when dealing with any type of sadness that has entered my life. Whether it was because of my own doing or my lack of preparation. Meditation has always brought me back to the “center” where I need and want to be.

Just like meditation you have to be front and center when dealing with your anxiety and depression. Do not approach it from the sidelines of life. This is something that only you can begin to remedy. There is nothing wrong with you as a person if you are feeling any type of negative emotion/feeling. The problems start to form if you stay in that negative type of mindset and do not get out of that pessimistic rut. If it doesn’t serve you then let it go. If you do not learn how to let it go then begin to loosen the grip of what you know and have done and begin to pivot into another direction to see if you can make any progress towards the joy and peace you seek.

I know what I have shared with you today can be of great aid in your journey. The steps listed above can help you become more courageous, resourceful, joyful, loving, and determined in life. Dealing with your demons is not a one-day affair either. It takes time and cares to get where you want to be. Just like a seed that is in the soil. It takes time to root and sprout. Be gentle with yourself and take the time you need in order to become the beautiful person I know you can become. Rid yourself of all the negativity that does not serve your growth in life and start to believe in yourself.  Even if just a little bit at first. Tell yourself that, “things are going to get better”, and that with time, tomorrow will become your best day yet.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts