I put out an Instagram post recently about viewing the world at the age of 20 vs. today. The comments I am receiving are that they had a more positive view of the world when they were younger. I found that interesting because we want to be in a specific place in the future when we are young. Whether you are a teenager and you want to reach the age of 16 to drive. Then you want to be 21 to drink/party. This is the process of growing, but at some point, we stop waiting for a specific time and face the reality that we are responsible for our future. This week’s blog will discuss blame and responsibility and which one you should sway towards.

Life is not fair. We come out kicking and screaming, and many of us need to fight every day to survive. This sense of fight is called struggle. We have to work at jobs that do not pay enough, or we are in a situation that can be difficult to apply growth concepts. Regardless of the problem, we have the power, the choice, to change our circumstances. Even though we have this power, I am seeing a trend in society that falls under victimism. These people blame the world and others for their problems and take no responsibility for what is in or around their life.

I could sit here and blame the world for all my troubles, or I could take responsibility and be accountable for what happens or doesn’t happen in my life. This is the main difference between someone who blames others and someone who takes ownership of their life. I find that many people check out early and become complacent about what they have in life. These people may be on government assistance and live in a not-so-great neighborhood, but that doesn’t have to be their defining factor. I am not saying that these people are bad for their choice, but I want to point out that if they stay in that situation, it is a choice.

If we look at some of the greats who came from nothing, we will see that they chose to be responsible for what their life would attest to. People like Oprah, Barack Obama, and Denzel Washington are individuals who came from nothing that went on to accomplish great things in their life. This is not to say these are the only people to have done so because the list can go on. If you want to look at where they came from and see the progress they made, you can do so. I will say that they all took responsibility for achieving the success they have today.

Understanding that we will not always get what we want, but we will get what we deserve is an idea to become more aware of ourselves. I can look at the world right now due to Covid and see all the problems or all the possibilities I have in front of me. Though the mainstream media is not doing us any favors by lowering the amount of negative news and fear they are instilling into the world, we have to begin to become self-educated and find what works for us. The problem is not on the news and the government alone. I cannot place all the blame on them. What I will say is that the blame should be placed on our fragility. People have become timid, compliant, and unmotivated to go after a better life.

People who believe they are owed something will continue to blame others and the world for their circumstances. However, your circumstance is going to be up to you in the end. If you have a negative mindset because of all the fear, unknowingness, and uncertainty about your future, it is time to change that mindset. A negative mind will weigh you down and keep you away from the life you truly want. I have to help people get out of their current thinking and start to think positively. If something goes wrong in their life, it is crucial to understand their reaction to the situation. Do they break down and blame the world, or do they rise to the challenge and take responsibility for their future?

People who take responsibility for their future will be better off in the end. If you are under the impression that things will get better with no action, you are setting yourself up to lose. I understand life is not fair, but staying in the dark alone, cold, and afraid cannot be the solution. Thinking that you are the victim is already placing the blame on someone else. In the majority of situations, you will gain very little from being the victim. In all honesty, people do not care that you are a victim of the world around you. You might have like-minded victim people shouting in turn with you, but the change will not be long-lasting or positive. The mind is so focused on the negatives that we fail to see where we came from.

I will use the black community as an example. I want to make a point of blame vs. responsibility. Here in America, the black community is fighting injustice. This injustice has happened and continues to happen to a degree in our nation. I have been the target of racism and prejudice, but I do not let it anger me and tarnish my history. If you look at where we came from, you will find that we were once kings and queens. Now we live in a world where we have forgotten that because we are fighting with ourselves and our once “oppressors.” The last time I checked, I was not oppressed. Why is our culture so endowed with fighting against injustice if there doesn’t need to be any?  The answer is they are operating under the blame mentality. They need someone to blame rather than take responsibility.

So what does responsibility look like for the black culture? Perhaps it is becoming aware of our surroundings. Become mindful of how we represent ourselves in public. Are we upstanding citizens, or are we no different than the person on the corner? We have one chance to make a great first impression, and many of my brothers and sisters fail in this category. If you fail or are ignorant on the matter, then you can make better new first impressions. What is happening with protests and riots will not be an answer. You can walk/march in peace, but where is your mind? Is your mind at peace, or is it running out of control? Begin with your mind.

Stepping away from blame and into responsibility will start to look like hope. This means that simply taking ownership of your actions will help you reach your most desired place in life. This is where a Life Coach shines. They will help you find your blind spots and decipher the story you have told yourself enough that it is now your belief. Though you have told yourself a lie all this time, the truth was meant to be witnessed. The world should see the best version of itself. That begins by taking responsibility for your life and what it surmounts. Sway to positive before negative, and your whole life will proceed according to your plan. If you do not have one, then hire a Life coach to create a plan for you.

In closing, blame vs. responsibility is something you are in complete control over. If you have been blaming others for your problems in life, then start to turn that logic around. Start to take responsibility for your life and make better choices that will help elevate you. You were meant to thrive in this world. You just have to believe that as your truth. The “truth” that is being told to you is a lie and a fake-out. You do not need to limit yourself because someone said otherwise. Accept the responsibility to be the best version of yourself because that was always your choice. Don’t give your freedom and life away because of someone else’s ideals. Rise to the top and take your rightful place on the throne.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts