Reven Concepts is a coaching company that emphasizes mindset. We have led the effort to bridge the gaps between limits and possibilities in people.
As we are approaching the end of our quarantine time, I want you to take a look back at the last two months. What have you accomplished? What have you missed? What have you been taking for granted all along? This is a moment for your self-discovery and to pinpoint the areas you should be working on. In this blog, I want you to learn how to face the reality that is you. Perhaps you have learned that you are lazy, a procrastinator, or someone who makes excuses instead of producing results. No matter what your reality is, you can start to adjust it to the reality you desire.
It is easy to take a day off when life gets heavy. You might just see all the bad that is going on in your life and succumb to bad habits like procrastinating and making excuses. Both of these things offer no benefit to us, so why do we do them? The answer is that we know our goals, but we do not have a system in place to get us to complete them. We know that it is instinctual to avoid tasks that will require large amounts of energy to complete. This is where procrastination can show its face. You may also be developing/reinforcing bad habits that will not serve you. For example, you might be forming/reinforcing a bad money habit if you are spending more than you are making each month. Perhaps you have taken up drinking more heavily because you are “stressed/depressed.” Regardless of the bad habits, you are forming, you must face your reality.
Your reality is a mix of who you are and who you want to become. These two aspects will allow you to make the correct choices each day. You will start to make more healthy life choices when you start to see your reality as something you can control. There will be no more quarantine to be your excuse. What will you do when the world “allows” you to restart your life? The better question is, why did you let the world have an effect on your life/progress toward your goals? How many excuses are running through your mind right now? I know many were popping into my head, but the truth is that those excuses are just that. They are lies wrapped around a reason that will not serve you.
The opposite of making excuses is to take responsibility. If you want something in life, then you have to get it. That is your responsibility. If you are late because of traffic or car trouble, then take responsibility. Not only will you find out other people’s character, but you will limit the habit of making excuses that take control of your life. I want to share a summary of a recent story I heard. It was an interaction between a boss and a worker recently. The employee had several real and honest reasons/excuses for being late to a meeting, but she did not say a word to her boss. This encounter taught her one important thing, and that was her boss’s character.
~Initium
A woman was late for a video conference call with her boss and team. The boss immediately started to yell at the woman for being late to the meeting in front of all the other staff members who were on the call. The boss jumped to conclusions based on his premises. (The boss didn’t know that the woman was a single mom taking care of her child since daycare and schools were closed.)
She could do nothing but take the yelling and humiliation from being late. She admitted later that she was having a tough time doing all she had to do. She had to be a mom and work to provide for her child. Why did the boss not first think that she may be having a hard time with this quarantine adjustment? The reason why was that his reality was different than hers. His true character shined at this moment. Perhaps he is also stressed and took it out on her, but there is no excuse to call someone out in the middle of a meeting with all eyes watching. People do not leave their jobs – they leave because of their leadership.
~Fin
The reality for many companies is being tested right now. Many small businesses are closing down shop because of the effect of this quarantine. Many businesses with wonderful, fun, kind, generous, and sociable leaders have to make the tough call to close their doors and let people go. These same people have chosen to stay in a lower-paying job because they enjoyed their boss so much. Now, this is not true in every case, but ask yourself. Are you satisfied with your leadership where you are working? Can you recall the bosses you had in your life and separate the good from the bad? Just like these good and bad bosses, we have good and bad habits. Both of which shape our reality. We have to take away our excuses and pay attention to who is around after all is said and done.
Your reality is based on what you do each day. If you were supposed to work out and didn’t, then either you have an excuse, or you are forming a bad habit. There is no reason why you should not be able to complete your daily schedule and routine. We all have 24 hours in a day. It is up to us how we spend that time given to us. We can squander that time looking at our phone or the television, but in reality, we are just setting our future selves back. We have to understand that our now/reality is what needs our attention. Not our social media accounts or video games. What we need now more than ever is to take aim at our future and keep on shooting our shot until we make it.
I’m a huge advocate for doing what you love and enjoy. However, is what you love going to help you 5 or 10 years from now? Does it serve a purpose? If so think of it this way. If I told you to give 1% more effort than what you are giving now, would you do it? Would you leave the excuses at the door and start to handle your business and become 1% more efficient? For a time, yes, you will. That is because 1% is not scary in your mind. It is not something that will fill you with fear and angst. Now the true question is will you keep up with that 1% for the entire time? Most likely, you will fall off somewhere along the way. That is where coaching comes into play.
Initially, before you take on a task or goal, you are filled with hope and the joy it can bring. You can hope for the best but not handle the worst. This is when having a coach to hold you accountable comes into effect. I make sure that when you are tired and want to give up that you instead get up and show up. You have to take control and remain in control of the progress you can have each day. If you keep taking days off from your goals and dreams, then you are just hurting yourself. You cannot live a life waiting for the right moment because there is no right moment. We just have this moment.
I understand that not every day you will feel like it or be at 100%, but these are the most important days to get through. You have to show yourself how strong and resilient you are repeatedly. If you tell a child every day that they are dumb and stupid, then that child will grow up thinking just that. However, if you tell a child that they are strong and smart, then that is what they will grow up to believe. What would you gain if you committed to telling yourself positive and kind affirmations each day? We, as teens and adults, seem to have forgotten how amazing we are along the way in life. Perhaps the hustle and chaos of the world took a toll on you? Nonetheless, if you can build/maintain that strong foundation for your life/mind, then no amount of devastation can topple what you have or will build.
Be sure to maintain structure in your life because it can have a huge impact on your reality. Your life will always require upkeep. It is what I like to call “wear and tear from living.” We can easily lose the structure of our days and replace that with habits/things that will not support us. We have to find/learn what makes us stronger and commit to doing that each day. Doing what makes you stronger each day will have a compounding effect on your future. You might not see the change on a day-to-day basis, but over a long period, you will notice the difference.
In closing, your reality is based on what you allow in your life. You can allow the time given to you to help you flourish and become your most amazing self. There is plenty of time on the table now due to the quarantine that you did not have before. Be sure to fill your life with positive and healthy habits that will serve you. Making the excuse that you do not have time cannot be your truth anymore. Your reason has to be bigger than your excuses and bad habits. You can start to come out of this quarantine stronger in many aspects of your life. So for the next 2-3 weeks, I want you to give yourself a goal and develop a system that will shape your days into the reality you wish to have for now and your tomorrows.
Until then,
Michael Rearden
Founder of Reven Concepts
The Author
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1 thought on “Your Reality”
What I have learned during this quarantine if you have issues no one else can fix your problems but yourself. I’m have learned not to pile on problems, but to pile on solutions.
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