When it comes to an understanding and finding one’s “why,” it can be daunting for many individuals, I wish it were as easy as writing down a list of things you like, and we know you’re “why,” but it is more to it than that. Finding your “why” can be arduous, but it will be critical in how you act toward the future you envision. Today, we will be going through finding and understanding your why.

 

Finding your “why” can be described as a purpose, reason, or driving force behind a person’s actions and decisions given by themselves or another. It is the fundamental reason for doing something. When people clearly understand their “why,” they are more likely to make choices that align with their values and goals. However, it is common for individuals to struggle with finding their “why” in life. These four steps will aid us in exploring an individual’s understanding to help find and identify their “why.”

 

How to Find Your “Why,” “Purpose,” and “Passions”

1. Self-Reflection
2. Identify Patterns
3. Experiment
4. Seek Feedback

 

Self-reflection

The first step towards finding one’s “why” is to engage in self-reflection. This involves profoundly looking at oneself and asking questions such as, “What do I value in life?” “What makes me happy?” “What am I passionate about?” “What are my strengths and weaknesses?” “What are my goals and aspirations?” By reflecting on these questions, individuals can better understand what drives them and what they want to achieve.

 

Though asking these questions will invoke the mindset you need to find your “why,” it is important to know it is not as simple as it may seem. I have found in my coaching and teaching career that asking someone these questions will often leave me silent, and if they do give me an answer if I check in a week, it is different. That means that in this self-reflection period, we have to utilize time too.

 

The way you will utilize time in asking and finding a true answer to these questions is to make it a habit. For example, you might not like going to school, but one year you get a teacher that makes learning fun. Did you not like school, or did you not like the teachers who were teaching you thus far? It is a riddle, but the answer is that you didn’t know you liked school/learning until you found someone with a passion for it and the ability to express it in a way you could understand.

 

The book that changed your life is not the book that changed your life. It is a compilation of all the books you have read, and the same is true for that teacher who made you like teaching. Now going a step further to Self-reflection, it is not the first answer you give that is your why, but a tested and changed version of how you present to your consciousness. This is why this step is essential to finding your why and the process necessary is time that can be indiscriminate depending on several factors.

 

Those factors include environment, learning, culture, religions, values/beliefs, systems, habits, etc. Who you are is more than who you think you are. I will say from experience that you are not your thoughts, but your thoughts are you. This means that to find yourself, you need to allow your character to be present in all you do and to have someone monitor how you move. This is where a coach or a mentor will be irreplaceable.

 

Identify patterns

After self-reflection, it is essential to identify patterns in one’s life. This involves looking back at past experiences and identifying common themes. For instance, if an individual has consistently volunteered at animal shelters and felt fulfilled, it may indicate that they are passionate about animal welfare. By identifying patterns in one’s life, individuals can better understand what motivates them and what they are naturally drawn to.

 

Though we can look at what we do as passions, it doesn’t mean they will end up our “why.” Using me as an example, when I started college, I wanted to be in finance. I was good at numbers and enjoyed working with money, so that was my major starting. After two years in finance/business, I wanted to do something other than business finance and accounting. I then recalled when I was in sixth grade when I was inclined to be a teacher, so that was what I pursued.

 

The issue with my choice to become a teacher after business finance was that my “why” was not defined well enough to make that transition smooth. What happened to me was that I started on the road to becoming a music teacher when I had little interest in music besides playing a tune or two alone in my room. Though effective at my job, teaching music differed from my true calling. It took me a decade to learn my true “why” for living in life, which I aim to change for people seeking their “why.”

 

When I left teaching and moved away from home, I learned my true purpose for living. That purpose was always in front of my eyes, but I couldn’t see it. It is like if you lost something in the house, and you ask your partner to help you find it, and they find it immediately. This happened to me on a sunny afternoon in Austin, Texas. I had lunch with my mentor, and as I spoke with him, he stopped and just looked at me. He gave me a grin and said I should be teaching.

 

Experiment

As I had to experiment with many jobs and careers, so did many of us. The reason is that we will know if we like something once we try it. For example, if you are traveling and see a cultural food dish being served or eaten, you might not think you would like it, but everyone in the region considers it a staple or a delicacy. Only when you experiment with trying new foods can you understand if you love or hate them?

 

This happens when an individual better understands their values, passions, and strengths; they should experiment with different activities and hobbies. This could involve volunteering, trying a new sport, taking a cooking class, or pursuing a new hobby. By experimenting, individuals can gain more clarity on what they enjoy doing and what they do not. It is important to keep an open mind and try new things as one’s “why” may evolve.

 

The best way I can explain how our “why evolves is the same way our taste buds change as we grow older. For example, when I was younger, I disliked eating oatmeal; today, I can eat it every day and be fine. The same is true for certain vegetables like asparagus. I didn’t like it when I was younger, but I can enjoy it at any meal today. Just as our taste buds change, so does our purpose. The secret is that our purpose does not change, but we unearth the reason bit by bit.

 

Though only a few studies are done on how a person’s purpose is defined, I can take a room full of people and give them the same type of environment, and the majority will go out with a different purpose. However, what the people in that same environment will share is character. About ⅔ of people will have a like-minded character with many similarities and some differences. Gender plays a role here, too, so when you experiment with different things, you are true to yourself, not what you see as normal or trending.

 

Seek feedback

This may be the most powerful area of the four listed in this article. The reason is that we do not know what we do not know. They say ignorance is bliss, and many people are ignorant about what they want. Yes, they incline to what they want or how they want to feel, but living in our emotions is not the way to find our purpose. Our purpose can invoke immense emotions, but we need logic and reason when finding our “why.”

 

That is why when my mentor told me my purpose, I was like, “Duh,” but then I realized I was running in and out of my purpose. If it wasn’t presented so blatantly, I think to this day, I would still be trying to figure out my “why.” That is why seeking feedback from others can also be a helpful tool in understanding one’s “why.”

 

Whether it be friends, family, or colleagues, they can provide valuable insights into what they see as an individual’s strengths and passions. We fail to see this because we grow with ourselves and need to see the changes or augmentations in our mindset. The best way I can explain this is if you haven’t seen a good friend for over five years, the feeling will be familiar, but you will notice big changes in their appearance. Maybe they got taller or have wrinkles now or grey hair. Regardless, you can see that change, but to them, that is just how they look now.

 

Understanding and seeking feedback will help you gain a new perspective and uncover things they may not have considered before. There is no shame in not knowing everything. The true shame comes when you fail to understand that more is to be learned. Getting a coach or a mentor will help you learn about yourself, or like in my situation, make it clear to your purpose that might be right in front of you. You can be doing it right now or have done it in the past but have avoided it for one reason or another.

 

In conclusion, understanding and finding one’s “why” can be a transformative experience. By engaging in self-reflection, identifying patterns, experimenting, and seeking feedback an individuals can better understand what is their purpose. This will also help them to identity their values, passions, and purpose in life. While the process may take time and effort, it can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Learn how to find your purpose here.

 

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts