What will happen when you run your race and separate yourself from the pack? Do you even know what you would do in that event? Would you slow down or speed up? These questions are essential to understanding our mindset and how we can distinguish ourselves from the pack. Today, I will explain the importance of separating from the group and the mentality on the other end.

How to Separate From The Pack

1. Understand why separation is needed.
2. What Do You do when you are Alone
3. How to form YOUR Pack
4. The End Result

1 – Knowing to or when to separate from a pack is a skill many people have yet to be taught. Most people will stay in the same city and state and surround themselves with the same friend group for their entire life. Spoiler alert, but there is a vast world with many diverse cultures and types of people. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to see what is out there before setting up shop with only the people and resources we have around us?

Staying on one pack is what many people tend to do. They find a place where they can feel comfortable, and that is where they choose to live their life. Though we love the comfort and aim for it, life is not meant always to be lived in comfort. We have to know what we gain with comfort and what we lose with comfort. We gain a sense of complacency, but we lose the ability to want to achieve more.

Being in that pack of living and comfortable people who do not want to achieve more or push themselves is dangerous. I would rather live with a pack of wolves than stay with a pack of complacent people. The reason is that one will bring me nothing while one would challenge me daily, which is what we are missing in life, positive challenge.

Today’s mindsets and packs people create are people who support them and cheer them on. Though this is good, the cheers are filled with lies, and the support is conditional. This means that the people we consider pack members will operate in the pack for either comfort or necessity. Both of these areas are dangerous because, as you know, comfort will not bring growth, and necessity will not create a growth mindset.

What needs to happen is we have to understand how to and why separating from our pack is a good thing. This is not to say that we cannot leave our pack and return to it later if we see value in it, but instead, we separate to gain clarity on our mission. Typically this happens when you are alone, physically or mentally, because you will have time to organize and prioritize your thoughts.

2 – When you separate from the pack, understand it will not be a simple ask at first. You will be thinking about how you are making a mistake, that you are better off in your old group, and how things were. The reason you are not is that growth and change are scary. When you are alone, you can go and be whatever you want. Though you have to be cautious in your behaviors and actions, the goal is to understand your power as a singular being before working towards the power of a collective unit.

There is a success hack that tells people to move away from the place they grew up. This is because this is the pack we are most comfortable in, and as I said earlier, we need to be uncomfortable, not comfortable. By uncomfortable, I am not talking about you needing to be freezing with no place to live, but rather uncomfortable in the actions we consistently make. This means we will challenge ourselves to do more and be more rather than just staying still.

I will share how I separated from the pack and started my empire.

When I was 28, I left my home in Connecticut, USA, to move to Texas, USA. This was a 1900-mile journey across America to a place I did not know if I would make it. I left my family and friends; all I had was everything I could load into my car.

When I arrived in Texas, I stayed with a buddy until my apartment was ready, but the entire time, I felt alone. Yes, I had my dog with friends and me around me, but I left the pack/life I have known all my life. There I found myself starting all over, and it was scary because I didn’t know if I could succeed. Leaving your foundation of family, friends, and career will bring many challenges and uncertainties, but what it can bring in exchange is more than I would have ever imagined.

Since moving from CT to TX, I have started my own business, and I am on the rise of my podcast, Coaching In Session, to being the world’s number one personal development podcast. I went from common goals to goals people would never consider attempting or achieving. What happened from that time of my leaving to the point where I am today? The secret is that I knew what to do when I was physically and mentally alone.

As stated, I was still determining if I could make it, but I set myself up to have no other ship. In a sense, I burned down the ship and only gave myself one option, victory/success. In the beginning, it took work. I had to work through many challenging emotions and trials, but coming out on the other side allowed me to change my mindset. I filled my life with gratitude and good habits to help me grow and eventually build.

I started to read more personal development books and listen to motivational speeches and podcasts to help me mold my mindset. Though I had a strong mindset at the time, I had to do much more work to get to where I could build my pack. I would be lying to you if I said there weren’t any lonely nights, but what I have gained from those lonely nights is an understanding of my power and potential.

3 – When you begin to build again, you will see a blank canvas. You do not have all your friends or distractions that you had before. Now, you can see because only the road ahead is there. No other people or obligations need you, and this is the greatest opportunity for a person. The reason is that now you can choose what you want to build.

If you lived a miserable life, I do not think you would move away and say, “I want to rebuild my miserable life.” Though people might move away and live in misery, it is not because of choice but because of an inlaid bad habit and mindset. Often, the mindset that was in our old pack must be recreated. We will do that in step two, but we will solidify it in this step because who we surround ourselves with has a power that people do not realize.

They say that you become the product of the 5-10 people you keep around you. When I moved, I had two people to start with. They had a positive outlook on the world, which helped me in the beginning, but long story short, those people are no longer in my top ten. The reason is that my vision and growth have surpassed their mindsets, and I am not in the business of forcing the people around me to keep up.

The way I see the people around me is that if you want to be in my life, you have two choices, keep up or move on. I decided when I left my old pack to avoid getting into the habit of waiting for people. If I did that, I would be waiting until it was my time to be laid to rest. We only have one life, but people live it like they have all this time to waste. I am not saying you must be active 24/7, but at least give yourself a purpose and have people around you who feel the same way.

When I met my wife for the first time, I remember talking to her and explaining the concept of being on an island. On an island, you can bring in anyone you want to be a part of the tribe. You will also have the power to let people go if they need to be more helpful to your end goal. Though it may sound harsh, my wife understood it to a degree. She still felt it was weird that I didn’t have many friends, but she saw how I moved people in and out of my life.

I have found that within the tribe I have created, my wife is the center, not because she has a strong mindset, but because it gives me a greater purpose, even though I may be walking alone most of the journey. Some people see their partner as someone within their tribe to confide in, but she is in my tribe solely someone I must protect. That is my mission, which people, especially men, need.

4 – Regardless of how you form your pack, understand what type of result you are trying to make. Many people will stay where they are placed in the world. They will live life through their circumstances and make a few changes. However, for the people who choose to separate from their initial packs, something great will happen in their lives.

That greatest will be whatever you set it up to be. I cannot say that you will have success if you move away because I know people who would move across the country or world, get addicted to drugs after hanging out with the wrong people, and wonder why their life is terrible. The issue with this concept is that if you decide to separate from your pack, instinctually, you will want to find another pack to replace it with. I want you to initially ignore that urge, work on step two, and build yourself up.

When you build yourself up, you will likely find few packs with your exact mentality, so you must find people and transition them into your pack. There are so many good and positive people to settle for anything less. Finding people can be problematic in the beginning, and you might have to cut people off at points. This is not to say you have grown tyrannical; instead, you have become laser-focused on your directives and know what you need.

Separating from the pack will not be easy in the beginning, I said, but if you can learn and surround yourself with people you need at every stage of your growth, then only greatness and success await you. Ensure that you also clearly define your character and who you want to become. I need to find out how many people need guidance on the way to their desired place in life.

In closing, separating from your initial packs will help you gain new clarity in life. This is something that many people will not even attempt to do because it will require massive amounts of energy and the ability to get through fear. Whether you decide to rebuild your pack or become a single-pack leader, be sure you have the mindset to finish and not just start. I recommend getting a coach and allowing him/her to be a part of your pack through whatever phase you need them. It might be for a moment, but that moment can be the foundation to build your kingdom on.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts