Recovering from trauma will be one of the most challenging things you will experience in your life. I do not wish any severe trauma on anyone, but it is a part of life, and we will have to go through it at one point or another. The impact of trauma will depend on several factors, but what I can tell you is that how you learn to deal with trauma will make or break you. You can have one traumatic experience and fall apart from it, or have a traumatic experience and find growth. Whichever happens to you will be determined by your mindset, and that is what we will be breaking down today. 

Learning how to regain our mindset after trauma will be a several-step process.

1. Understanding what happened
2. Understanding the WHY
3. Come to a conclusion
4. Make the change

Understanding what Happened

The initial shock of trauma can have a significant impact on your thinking. You might feel lost or have no clue what to think. This is where many of my clients have begun the game of limbo for many years. When they finally realize the game is rigged, then they start to make the change. However, by the time they decide to conclude what happened, a substantial amount of time has passed. They say that time can heal all wounds, and that is true, but what if there was a secret for rapid recovery? Would you utilize it and make a change sooner than later?

Many people find themselves in trauma with no direction. They see what has happened to them and label themselves as victims or unlucky. Every human will most likely experience trauma at some point in their life. On the off chance that they didn’t, they have missed the meaning of life and given their life away for someone else to live. This happens when people/society tells you what to do and how to do it, and when without you having any input. That breakdown is a conversation in its own right, but what I will tell you, in short, is that many people are living false lives.

This first step of understanding what happened can be done in a couple of ways. The most common way is to speak with someone about what happened. This can either be a therapist or a coach, but that will depend on what direction you want in the end game. If you wish to talk to someone to feel better, then a therapist will be the direction you want to go. If you want to feel better and create change in your life, a coach will be more viable. Yes, a therapist will help give you direction, but a coach will go beyond that and help you towards that change. 

Understanding the WHY

Understanding the WHY in many situations will require consciousness of your mind. If your mind is impaired due to trauma, you must know why you feel that way. If you skip this step, you will fail to acknowledge why the brain feels some type of hurt. Being able to put a label on that trauma will be able to identify it and then change it in time. I find that many people know the blanket statement of why, but they cannot find the actual reason behind all the pain within us.

During an event where a severe trauma occurs, like a death or a life change, we are faced with what is next. That means many people get lost because they lost a part of them. Humans are adaptable, but we are slower to do so than our animal counterparts. Perhaps this is because we shied away from instinct and moved into technology. That instinct of knowing the why behind the trauma must be identified if we want to dive deeper into the reason. The reason is not just death or a life change. Now it becomes more of a true reflection of your innermost desires until you can address those or allow the focus to dissipate; your why will haunt you.

If you are someone with recent trauma or can look back at past trauma, you will notice a negative outlying feeling. Your why will come clearer if you find that feeling and the true reason behind it. My first significant trauma took me quite some time to work through and discover the why within the trauma. I knew I could not label myself as a victim, so I had to place the blame elsewhere, and that was on me. Once I took responsibility for why I was feeling this way, only then was I able to find my way out of that trauma. It took me to learn why to rid myself of the trauma.

Come to a Conclusion

This step is not to be confused with step one. This step is the action step to conclude your course of action. Once you have a plan in place, it might take many trials and errors until you find a way out of that trauma and end up in a realm of peace and acceptance. Often we can be overly critical of ourselves and our actions. Yes, we can blame ourselves or conclude that our current mindset doesn’t have to be our final. That means we have to develop a way to get out of the trauma or life change we experienced.

What I recommend people do in this stage is to build knowledge. Building knowledge means seeking resources, such as personal development books, blogs, etc., on how to improve. Eventually, you will reach a tipping point where all the information you have learned finally leads you on a journey to a conclusion. There is no time frame for this to occur, but it will depend on how active you are in the search for the answer. You can always get a coach to help guide you through and fill in the missing spots, but you have to be disciplined to follow through.

I find that many people who do not do the work themselves and get a coach are more likely in the future to have remission of progress. They might have found the answer, but they did not appreciate the journey. Having a coach is like knowing all the tips and tricks of life, where you will start to make a change. This is a good thing, but if you fail to utilize the proper way of thinking and the tools the coach has given you, then you will be right back to where you started. Anything given will be lost if not in the right hands.

Make The Change

The final step will become a reality through the efforts of the previous three steps. This is going to be where we have to apply action. I know I breezed through the first three steps, but it is primarily for past clients if you know what the Tune-Up Series represents. You can utilize this article if you haven’t worked with me yet, but people who have worked with me already are familiar with the terminology and expectations. The reason people cannot make the change is that they are not willing to put in the effort.

Though you might desire change and try it occasionally, change will only come to those who genuinely work for it. Most people who get into trauma just want to get back to normal. I make sure my clients get back to feeling great and help them get to better. Though it might seem that life will not be better after what has happened in your life, I assure you that it has the potential to be even more impressive. The only thing you have to do is claim it to be yours.

I find that many people start strong, but their motivation fizzles out before substantial change can be reached. The change you make after a trauma will be just as impactful as the trauma was to us. This can be a wake-up call for many people who want to implement change in their life but they are missing the motivation. That is typically where trauma comes in because it is one of the greatest motivators to enact long-lasting change. The problem is that we shouldn’t have to wait for something terrible to happen in our life to do what is necessary for change.

Getting rid of trauma is not as easy as following this TUS. Many trials and errors will be associated with getting out of this trauma. Typically, the mind will dive into negativity and make changes against our why. That is where a more profound feeling of depression will rein in, and we must put in the effort to get out of that space. Moving out of trauma or depression will not be an overnight affair. It can take months or even years, depending on the person. I can tell you that though it might seem like a dark point in your life of no return, there is something to look forward to. Life is not what happens to us; instead, it is what we make happen in life. So do not let your mindset sway from taking action towards a better future and life.

 

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts