I am blessed to be living the life I am today. I didn’t know that when I left teaching in 2016, my life would turn out as it is today. Yes, I had many ups and downs along the way to where I am today, and I am sure I will have plenty more. However, from living the way I was in the past, compared to today, I have seen what a little action and direction can do to someone’s life. However, I have seen that all the lavish things money and fame have given me cannot beat the small things we often forget to pay attention to.

The small things add up to the big things, or so they say. This saying is true only if you learn to appreciate the small things in your life. This is easier said than done because people not in my shoes can easily have the mindset, You do not know the struggle because you are living in it. However, I have already lived through it. Why would I stay in that predicament? The truth here is people find comfort in taking no action because the actions they must take to change their circumstances are not easy.

One major factor why people will not take action is because of stress. Even small stresses can add to immense stress, so it is important not to let the little stresses, also known as non-essential stresses build. It is common among many people because they cannot see the severity of allowing too much stress to pile on. These small things might be hard to see, but we can train our minds to see and pay attention to them. If we can learn to manage our good stress and avoid the bad stress, we can start to make our way to the better things in life.

As I said earlier, I have the honor of providing services for some of the world’s most amazing people. Not only am I getting an intrinsic feeling from my work, but I also get to be in a circle of unique and affluent people. Though this is amazing, I have found that all the private jets and expensive hotels do not bring me any closer to true happiness. I have found that in the moments of this lavish lifestyle, I am left appreciative but also thinking about what else is there.

Many people want to reach a certain point in life, whether financial freedom, traveling the world, or finding meaningful relations, but only some are willing to do the work. People who read this article will wonder why I should try to reach these grandiose things/places in life if they do not bring me happiness. The simple answer is that we know what we want until we get it. Most people do not know where they want to be but how they want to feel. This is a backward way of thinking because we must not only use emotions to get the results we are looking for.

I talk about keeping up with the Jones often on the podcast and in the blog, but people need to see the point even after it was made. This is where the idea of if it is new and shiny, I must have it because I need to validate myself and be accepted. Then there is the other side that I have worked hard, so I have earned this. Both can, in any extreme, lead you off the deep end of materialism, but knowing what you want and achieving it can be one of the best goals to reach.

When I talk about the aspect that all the riches and wealth in the world will not make you happy, I am speaking more in line with when you get to that place in life; you will realize the truth. You will still find stress and struggle in your days. Success is not a magic pill that will disappear all your worries and woes. Yes, you might be fine with paying your bills or how you will pay the mortgage, but you will be given a different set of stress. Though not having money can be a stress, having money can cause more problems than good.

The song by Notorious B.I.G Mo Money Mo Problems, explains how you can have all the nice things, but money brings problems you might have never known about. For example, you will deal with more travel stress if you have enough money to take more vacations. This can range from delayed flights to missing luggage. Though you can remain optimistic through the stress, we cannot ignore that it is there. There is stress in all parts of our life, even in the parts where we live in a mansion and have our dream car.

You might be one of those people who have to reach that point to see the truth; I know I was. However, we can aim to have those types of issues because it would mean we could achieve some level of success envisioned. You might hear the saying that it is lonely at the top, which is true, but being at the bottom can be just as lonely because it feels like the entire weight of the world is on your shoulders. At this point, we must pick our poison, success or mediocrity, right?

The good news is that we do not have to sacrifice riches and fame to live a fulfilled life. You can have all the money you need and more and still find happiness and joy. This article aims to speak about the destination of happiness from a perspective that people will notice more readily. I have already written many blogs on happiness, but this one focuses on the end destination or vision many people give themselves. Yes, we want the big homes, the fast cars, and the extravagant getaways, but is that what we truly want?

When it comes down to the nitty-gritty, people want a sense of control. That means they can do the things they want at some point without fear of loss. The good news is that this fear we give ourselves is self-made, and we can make the necessary changes to rid our life of this fear so that when we reach the glitter and gold, it is not tarnished. We want to reach great places, but not at the sacrifice of our health and the bulk of our time alive. This means we have to become more deliberate in what we do and how we think.

The first thing I want you to focus on is that the destination of materialism has no endpoint. You may want a bigger one if you live in a small house. If you move into a bigger house, you will have to furnish this home with more furniture because there is too much space available after moving everything from your first home. You might also tell yourself that you cannot move to a smaller home again because you will not have enough space for everything. This can lead to an unknown mindset of filling empty spaces with inconsequential things.

Most people live in the mindset of trying to fill the emptiness they are feeling with material goods, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc., to try and feel whole. These things that we give ourselves might be something we have our minds set on; however, just because our focus is there doesn’t mean that it should be our destination. I recall growing up in the ghetto, how I wanted a big house out of the ghetto, and not that I have those said things; I am here looking at bigger homes.

In my case, the home I had was a home that was for me at a specific point in my single life. Now that I have a family, my goals have adjusted to incorporate them and their future. Yes, I need more resources to get a bigger house, but at some point, I understand the nest will be empty again, so I can either downgrade or remain in the lifestyle I have created for myself. At the end of the road, we have to get down to the specifics of what we would like for our life. Most people will say what they want to buy or places they want to travel to, but life is more than the material goods and small moments we think will make us happy.

There is a story of a businessman and a fisherman who can sum up what I have been saying:

A businessman once sat by the beach in a small Brazilian village.

As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore, having caught quite a few big fish.

The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”

The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”

“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” 

“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.

The businessman asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”

The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I nap with my wife, and the evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”

The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.

“I am a Ph.D. in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. You could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish when you have saved enough money. Soon you can afford to buy more boats and set up your own company and your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”

The fisherman continues, “And after that?”

The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”

The fisherman asks, “And after that?”

The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”

The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”

Looking at this story, we can see the glitter of owning a company and many boats, but the life we want to live can be lived now. From today on, I want you to look at how you can live the life you want at the endpoint rather than working to the point. We can see what we do daily, but it will be specific to a few individuals if we think about everything we can create. This is because only some people want to create a legacy like a businessman; some want enough.

In closing, the world will tell you what you need and what you should be vying for. You will see all the happy faces and smiles and be fooled into believing that is where happiness is because right now, you are not feeling it. I can tell you that you can have all the riches and fame and still be miserable and stressed. Find the things that shine to you, and ignore what the world is telling you to have.

You are the determining factor of everything you do. You can shine bright like a diamond in the slums or try to reach the highest peaks in life to get a glimpse of the light. You choose where and how you will shine. Just be sure not to fall into the trap or rat race of trying to reach a place that will always keep on moving. Define what you want and need, and build the life you want around your standards, not what others have created for you.

Until then,

Michael Rearden

Founder of Reven Concepts